Waking Up
by WhiteOnyxElephants
Summary: When Spock watches Jim die, he thinks he cannot go on. But when Jim gets a second chance at life, will the two men realise their feelings for one another? Spock/Kirk and Bones/OC, plus later Uhura/Scotty. Rated M for later chapters. Somewhat slow-build. Set after the events of Into Darkness.
1. Chapter 1

**My first published fic! How exciting! Well, here is Chapter 1 of what will be a multi-chapter** **fic. There will be romance, fluff, sadness, adventure, all that good stuff. And yes, man/man love. If you don't like that, you should probably not read this. Reviews would be greatly appreciated! They'll help me know if I should continue posting this! Enjoy~ Rabbit**

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Spock sat ramrod straight in the hard chair next to Jim's bedside. Despite the reassurance from Bones that Jim would wake up, Spock felt the need to be there as much as possible until he did. He had hardly slept or eaten at all, but his mental strength allowed him to continue his watch.

"Brought you some tea," a familiar voice said from the door. Spock turned to see Uhura standing there with a soft smile and two cups from a local café.

"Thank you, Nyota," Spock replied, taking the tea gratefully.

"You really should get some sleep. Come with me," she said gently. "We could both use the rest."

"I appreciate your concern, but I have to decline," Spock replied. Uhura's smile fell and she sighed, pulling up another chair in front of him, sitting to face him.

"It's been over a week and you've barely left this room," she said.

"Yes," Spock replied curtly, feeling uncomfortable for a moment before he efficiently filed the emotion away. He noticed Uhura's brows furrow together for a moment and she closed her eyes.

"You are… upset?" Spock asked. She looked into his whiskey coloured eyes as if searching for an answer. Finally, she took his hands into hers, and Spock jerked ever so slightly, still not used to the human way of touching so frequently.

"I'm going to ask you something, and you have to swear to me you'll be honest. Even if you think it'll hurt me," she said.

"Vulcans cannot lie, Nyota. You know this," Spock replied slowly. He watched as Uhura took a long, deep breath.

"You don't love me, do you?" she asked, nearly in a whisper. Spock stared at her for a painfully long moment before he gently placed her hands back in her lap.

"I believe that I did," he replied. Her eyes began to water, but she kept her face serene.

"But you don't anymore," she said, more of a statement than a question.

"No, I do not anymore," he replied. Uhura glanced at Jim. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't bring herself to feel angry. She knew that despite the thick layers of bravado and womanising, Jim Kirk was one of the best men she knew. She also knew that she did love Spock with all her heart, and because of that, she wanted him to be happy. Even if it meant her heart would be broken in the process. With firm resolve, she wiped the tears from her eyes and straightened in her chair, looking at Spock again.

"Do you love him?" she asked. Spock's face showed shock for the briefest of seconds before it was gone.

"I care greatly for Jim. He is my friend," Spock replied. Uhura smiled sadly.

"Okay," she said. "Just… just promise me something." Spock looked inquiringly at her.

"When you figure out how you feel about him, like I know you will, don't run from it. He's a good man, even though he doesn't want anyone to believe it. Don't run from how you feel."

"Nyota, are you ending our relationship?" Spock asked.

"I think that's for the best," she said, her voice quivering almost inaudibly.

"That is… regrettable," Spock said. There was that sad smile again.

"No, it isn't," she said. She looked at Jim again, then back to Spock. "I want you to be happy. I'll see you later, Spock. Tell Jim when he wakes up that I said I hope he gets better quickly." She gave him a quick kiss on his forehead before straightening her shirt and leaving. She didn't look back. Spock's thoughts began to swim, and he planned to meditate, but as if on cue, Bones walked in.

"Oh look, Jim's watchful gargoyle is still here. I'm so shocked," he said sarcastically, but good-naturedly.

"Doctor," Spock greeted tonelessly.

"Was Uhura in here?" Bones asked, checking the equipment monitoring Jim.

"She was," Spock replied. Bones looked at him for a second, thinking he heard the twinge of emotion in Spock's voice.

"I'm surprised. I didn't think she'd come see him," Bones said, back to his work of checking over Jim.

"I believe she came to see me," Spock replied.

"Yeah, I figured. You've been here constantly," Bones said. "She sure didn't stay long, huh?"

"No. She wished to end our relationship. I believe staying any longer would have caused her undue emotional distress." Bones stopped, his hands frozen in place over Jim's arm, where he was about to add medicine into the IV.

"You two broke up?" he asked in shock.

"I believe that is what I just said, yes." Spock replied curtly.

"That's… well. I'm sorry, Spock," Bones said gently, shaken out of his frozen state.

"I do believe that it is for the best."

"Really? You're taking it well. Not that you'd show it if you weren't," Bones said, his sarcastic tone returning. Spock looked at Jim for a long while.

"Yes, I suppose I am. I have… faith… that things will work out as they were meant to." Bones stared at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, that's… that's usually how it goes," Bones said, and Spock could practically hear the gears turning in his head. "Well, I'm done for now. Lemme know if he wakes up or explodes or anything."

"It is completely unfeasible that Jim would spontaneously comb-" Spock began, but stopped when Bones raised his hand to cut him off.

"It was a joke, you living statue," Bones said in exasperation. He began walking out of the room, but turned back in the doorway.

"Try to get some rest or… whatever it is you hobgoblins do," Bones said. Spock nodded, ignoring the jab, understanding that the doctor meant well. He looked at Jim again, and felt a strange pull on his heart. How… interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Can I just say how blown away I am by how many visitors this little story of mine has gotten? Thank you all so much for reading! I hope I don't disappoint! As always, please review. They really are an author's lifeblood!**

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It had been two weeks since Jim had been revived, but he still hadn't woken up. Spock remained by his side unwaveringly, but despite his cool and collected appearance, a war was raging inside of him. He was ripped from his thoughts, however, by Bones bursting into the room. When Spock came back to reality, he heard the incessant beeping of the machines and immediately feared the worst.

"He's waking up!" Bones breathed, checking the readings on all of the machines. When he saw Jim's brows furrow together, relief flooded the doctor's features, and he stood next to Jim waiting for him to open his eyes. Sure enough, they opened quickly as if he'd been shocked, and he looked around for a moment before his eyes settled on Bones.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic," Bones said. "You were barely dead. It was the transfusion that really took its toll. You were out cold for two weeks."

"The transfusion?" Jim rasped.

"Your cells were heavily irradiated. We had no choice."

"Khan?"

"Once we caught him I synthesized a serum from his super blood. Tell me, are ya feeling homicidal? Power mad? Despotic?" Bones asked with a slight smirk.

"No more than usual. How'd you catch him?" Jim replied.

"I didn't," Bones said, before walking to Jim's other side, revealing Spock, now standing, stoic as ever. His face betrayed none of the relief and pure joy at seeing Jim awake, but he walked over slowly, feeling his emotions grow exponentially with each step.

"You saved my life," Jim said with a small smile.

"Uhura and I had something to do with it too, you know," Bones muttered, but Jim ignored him.

"You saved my life, Captain, and the lives of-" Spock began, but Jim cut him off.

"Spock, just… thank you."

"You are welcome, Jim," Spock replied, allowing some of the raw happiness he felt to seep into his voice. Bones was carefully watching the interaction between the two men, and realization hit him like a ton of tribbles. He set down his tricorder and smiled.

"Spock, think you can take care of Jim while he recovers?" Bones asked. Spock's brows furrowed together momentarily, and Jim looked at Bones in surprise, but Bones only shrugged.

"I mean, I'm sick of seeing your ugly mug around here, and you'll probably be a huge pain in my ass now that you're awake. I'd rather pawn you off on your gargoyle there," Bones said.

"Gargoyle?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, you know, mythical stone statues that watch over people? Gargoyles? Spock's barely left this room ever since you got here. Don't worry, Jimbo, I'm sure Spock'll take good care of you and only make you want to kill him a few times." Jim looked up at Spock, his face betraying some emotion Spock couldn't understand.

"Whaddaya say, Spock?" he asked, almost hesitatingly. "Think you can deal with me for a while?"

"I… suppose such an arrangement would be acceptable," Spock replied. Bones smiled again, turning away to hide it. Once he had his normal sarcastic scowl firmly back in place, he turned towards the men again.

"Well, I'm gonna get out of here for the night, since Jim seems to be doing well. We'll see about getting ya home maybe tomorrow, Jim."

"Thanks, Bones," Jim said, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah," Bones said, walking out of the room. Jim and Spock were both at a loss for words once Bones had left, and the silence was pregnant with tension.

"Spock," Jim whispered after a few painfully long minutes.

"Yes, Captain?" Spock asked.

"Before I… when I was in the decontamination compartment, you cried," Jim replied. Spock winced inwardly. He had hoped Jim wouldn't remember that.

"I was… emotionally compromised," he said. "It seems you have a proclivity for emotionally compromising me, Captain." He hoped humor would stall any further discussion on the matter.

"Spock," Jim said again.

"Captain?"

"I like it better when you call me Jim."

"Very well, Jim," Spock said, allowing Jim to see the smallest of smiles. To Jim's surprise, he felt his heart flutter upon seeing Spock's smile, no matter how tiny.

"Have you really been here this whole time?" Jim asked.

"I have," Spock replied.

"Why?"

"Because you are my friend. I was beside you in death. I wanted to be beside you when you returned to us as well."

"Spock, that's… you're… I don't know what I'd do without you," Jim said, smiling serenely. His smile faded quickly, however, which Spock realized made his heart ache.

"What about Uhura?" Jim asked tentatively.

"Lieutenant Uhura has ended our relationship," Spock replied.

"Oh, shit, Spock! I'm so sorry! Hell, don't stay here then, man! Go get her back!" Jim exclaimed, but quieted when he saw Spock shake his head.

"I believe the termination of our relationship was best. Things have been easier since. There is no animosity between us." Jim grasped Spock's forearm, not noticing or pretending not to notice the faint shudder that ran through Spock's body at their touch.

"I hope you mean that," he said.

"Vulcans cannot lie… Jim," Spock replied. Jim smiled and closed his eyes, falling asleep with little effort. Spock resumed his post in the seat beside Jim's bed, and he noticed that the chair suddenly felt much less uncomfortable.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3! I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I'm so excited for the next one, and I hope you all are too! Gotta love that slow-build love! As always, please review! They really do help! xx - Rabbit**

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Jim was going stir crazy from the moment he woke up from his coma, much to the amusement of both Bones and Spock.

"Alright, alright," Bones said finally. "We'll get you home." Jim let out a loud whooping yell of excitement. Bones gave Spock a long list of possible scenarios and solutions and he reminded Jim of a clucking mother hen.

"Bones, I think he's got it. 'Sides, pretty sure I'll just be laying around."

"You're probably right. I just care about ya, kid. Spock, could you come with me for a minute?" Bones said. Spock nodded and followed the doctor outside.

"May I inquire the reason for leaving the room to speak?" Spock asked. Bones rubbed the back of his neck absently.

"Yeah. Look, I know Jim seems fine and happy now. And he probably is. But no one goes through the shit he went through without some sort of emotional trauma. You know what PTSD is?" Spock nodded again.

"I am familiar with the disorder. Vulcans do not experience such a thing, so I am afraid I have a rather poor ability to empathize, but yes, I am aware of what it is."

"Good," Bones said with a nod. "Thing is, PTSD doesn't always show up right when the trauma is over. Right now Jim is his happy self, but there's no way of knowing if or when the PTSD will start affecting him. He doesn't know it, but he needs you. It's hard for me to admit, because he's my best friend, but he needs you just as much as me, if not more."

"I will do all that I can for him. I care for Jim deeply, " Spock replied. Bones smiled weakly, clapping Spock on the shoulder.

"He loves you too, Spock. Even though neither of you wanna admit how you feel. Don't hurt him, okay?" Bones asked. He walked back into Jim's room before Spock could reply, leaving Spock to follow mutely.

"What the hell was that all about?" Jim asked.

"Oh, I was just telling Spock the boring stuff. About your meds and whatnot."

"Great great, now let's get me out of here! I'm going crazy in this damn room!"

Bones helped Jim into the bathroom to change into more comfortable loungewear while Spock packed up the few belongings that were in the room. When Jim emerged from the bathroom, Spock felt his eyes drawn to his captain. He was wearing black sweat pants slung low on his hips, and a black long-sleeved t-shirt that clung to his form in all the right places. He looked away quickly when he realized he was staring, hoping Jim hadn't noticed. Bones walked out of the room momentarily, reappearing with a wheelchair.

"No," Jim barked immediately. "No way in hell am I leaving this place in a wheelchair."

"Damnit, Jim, you've been in a coma. You need to keep as much of your strength as possible," Bones growled in reply.

"Doctor," Spock said calmly. "If it would be permissible, I can assist Jim and ensure that he does not injure himself. I am more than capable of carrying the Captain should the need arise." Bones hesitated, thinking on Spock's offer.

"Come on, Bones. Let him. I'd rather take my chances walking than deal with a wheelchair."

"Alright, fine," Bones said, throwing his hands in the air. "But I swear, if you hurt yourself, I'll kill you myself!"

"Yes, mom," Jim replied, with a toothy grin.

"Get him out of here," Bones hissed at Spock before walking out of the room. Jim rolled his eyes before turning to Spock.

"I vote we get something to eat before we head to my place. I'm starving!"

"Very well," Spock replied. "Where did you have in mind?"

"I know a place sort of on the way. They specialize in off-world food. I bet they'll have stuff without meat." Spock agreed and the two men left the hospital and began the walk to the restaurant, called "Outta This World." Spock found the name painfully lacking in creativity, but he kept his thoughts to himself, instead enjoying Jim's excitement. Inside the restaurant, which was decorated with a strange conglomerate of different cultures, the two men were quickly seated and a lovely young waitress came up to take their drink orders. Spock fully expected Jim to flirt endlessly with the girl, but to his complete shock, Jim ordered his drink before she even asked and without giving her so much as a glance. Spock ordered water, and she walked off, seemingly crestfallen at the rejection she had received. When Spock looked back at Jim, he saw that Jim was staring openly at him.

"May I ask what it is you are so intrigued by?" Spock asked.

"Your skin. It looks nice in this light," Jim replied softly. He smiled before asking, "Any ideas what you want?" Spock looked down at the menu and saw a small section of Vulcan dishes.

"Am I correct in assuming you knew this restaurant offers Vulcan food?" Spock asked. Jim shrugged, his smile growing wider.

"I might have had some faint recollection," Jim replied. The waitress came back not long after and took their orders. Jim ordered a salad loaded with fruits and vegetables with an exotic dressing, and Spock ordered a traditional Vulcan meal, similar to Terran vegetarian spring rolls.

"Salad, Jim?" Spock asked, after the waitress (still ignored by Jim) left to place their orders.  
"You don't eat animal products. Since you're taking care of me, I figured the least I can do is stay away from the meat."

"That is very considerate of you," Spock replied. Inside, though, he felt his heart swell with happiness at the sentiment. They did not have to wait long before the waitress brought out their food, and even though Jim loved eating meat, he had to admit that his salad looked pretty amazing. He wasted no time in digging in to it voraciously.

"How's your… whatever that is?" He asked between mouthfuls. Spock ate with every bit of his usual cool grace, which made Jim feel slightly embarrassed at his inhaling of his food.

"It is more than adequate," Spock replied. "Jim, it does mean a lot to me that you chose this place. I hope you realize that." Jim blushed ever so slightly, turning his face to hide it.

"I'm glad you like it." The two finished their meals silently, both comfortable with the silence. When they were finished, Jim paid for both of them despite Spock's objections. Finally, Spock relented, and the two left and headed to Jim's apartment. Once they had arrived, Spock noted that Jim was noticeably tired, his muscles having already begun to grow weak from the two weeks of disuse. The apartment was on the third floor, and Spock gently took Jim's waist to help him up the stairs. Jim nearly objected, but quickly suppressed the urge and allowed himself to be helped up the stairs. The inside of his apartment was small, but relatively clean and well furnished.

"So, I don't have a guest room. Sorry about that. You okay with the couch? I can sleep on it and you can have the bed if you'd prefer that," Jim said.

"Jim, it is completely illogical for you to sleep on a couch while your body is recovering. I will sleep here." Jim smiled and went to get a pillow and blankets for Spock. He got his thickest blankets and made sure there were at least three so his Vulcan friend wouldn't be cold, and he sat them on the couch.

"I think these should be warm enough. But you can always turn up the temperature. Worse comes to worse, I'll open my window. There's tea in the upper right cabinet if you want. Make yourself at home."

"Thank you, Jim," Spock said. "Do you need any assistance changing or readying your bed before you sleep?" Jim fought down the urge to say that yes, he did want assistance changing, but he feared that he would make Spock uncomfortable.

"Nah, thanks. I think I've got it. I'll let you know if I need anything. Goodnight, Mr. Spock."

"Goodnight, Jim." Spock watched Jim enter his bedroom and softly close the door, after which Spock unfolded the blankets and laid them on the couch. He pulled off his Starfleet regulation shirt, leaving his black, long-sleeved undershirt on, and traded his regulation pants for more comfortable black cotton pyjama pants. Once he had brushed his teeth and neatly folded his clothes, he lay down on the couch and pulled the blankets over himself. They were, indeed, very warm, and he was grateful for the warmth to fend off the chill of the apartment.

Spock did not fall asleep for nearly three hours, due to his need for sleep being less than that of a human. Just after he had finally fallen asleep, however, he was awoken by Jim yelling. He burst into Jim's room to find Jim still asleep, violently twisting and turning in the throes of a terrible nightmare. Spock quickly sat down on the bed beside Jim and gently gripped his shoulder, shaking it.

"Jim, you are having a nightmare. Wake up. I am here, Jim. It is alright," Spock said. Jim's eyes finally opened, and he blearily gazed around the room before his eyes settled on Spock.

"Spock," he choked, tears filling his eyes. "Spock, it was so horrible. I watched you die in that compartment instead of me. I watched everyone die and I couldn't do a damn thing about it." Spock tentatively placed both hands on Jim's shoulders and looked deep into his blue eyes.

"It was only a nightmare, Jim. The crew is alive, thanks to you. And I am here for you," Spock said. Jim began crying harder.

"Could you, just… could you sleep in here tonight? I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I just don't want to be alone," Jim said between sobs.

"Of course," Spock replied, moving further onto the bed and underneath the covers. Jim curled up against him and Spock instinctively put his arms around him, feeling the despair and fear that Jim felt through their touch. There was something else, there, though, but Spock couldn't place the emotion. It was lingering just out of reach under the surface. A warm, gentle emotion. But it was just too fuzzy to name. Jim's cries slowly quieted as he listened to Spock's slow heartbeat, much slower than that of a human. The sound calmed him immensely, and he fell asleep in Spock's arms. Despite his efforts to stay awake in case Jim had another nightmare, Spock too soon fell asleep, and it was easily the best sleep he had had for as long as he could remember.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4! I'm so excited. I hope you all are too! Oh ho ho, you guys only** ** _think_** **we're gettin' somewhere with the romance! This story is still in it's newborn stage! There is a big big BIG plot I have planned. Get pumped! I know I am! As always, reviews are so very appreciated. Enjoy the story! xx- Rabbit**

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Jim awoke with the sun, much to his despair. He was groggy and exhausted, but his mind refused to let him fall back asleep. His sleepiness was harshly abated, however, when he realised he was still in Spock's arms. His heart fluttered at their contact, his head on Spock's chest, Spock's arms tight around him, and their legs tangled together. He didn't dare move out of fear of waking the Vulcan, and tried to remain as still as he could, relishing their touch, although he was unsure why.

"Good morning," he heart a smooth voice say.

"How long have you been up?" Jim rasped, startled.

"Not long. I awoke approximately thirteen minutes before you," Spock replied. Spock had anticipated that Jim would move to break their embrace as quickly as possible, a thought which saddened him deeply, but his Captain didn't move. Jim expected a similar reaction from Spock, but felt himself growing happier by the second when Spock continued to hold him.

"I hope this doesn't… y'know… weird you out or anything…" Jim stated nervously.

"It does not," Spock said slowly.

"Really?" Jim asked. "I thought you hated being touched. And we're definitely touching."

"It is true that I often dislike physical contact. Being bombarded by the thoughts and emotions of others is often unpleasant when it is unexpected."

"Oh, yeah. Touch telepath and all. Got it. I'll move," Jim said, beginning to shift. He hesitated when Spock's arms didn't loosen any.

"I do not recall saying I wish for you to leave," Spock said softly. Jim almost thought he heard a twinge of rejection in Spock's voice, but he refused to allow himself to believe that. There was no way Spock felt anything for him… was there? Not that it mattered, Jim thought firmly. Jim didn't feel anything for Spock apart from a deep friendship. That was what he repeated in his head, at least. Although it seemed the more he repeated it, the less he believed it.

Despite knowing that Spock was a touch telepath, Jim had no idea how to shield his thoughts and was too groggy to realize that Spock had heard the internal war going on inside Jim's head. He heard, too, when Jim noticed that Spock's shirt had slid up and was exposing several inches of his toned abdomen, his abdominal muscles showing even though they were completely relaxed. He felt a gentle surge of desire from Jim to touch his bare skin.

"Jim," Spock breathed, his voice barely above a whisper, betraying the desire that he felt as well. Jim looked up into those familiar eyes, lit up a fiery amber in the dawn light filtering through the windows, and he felt as if he were seeing them for the first time. Spock opened his mouth to speak again, but his words were cut off before they began by the call alert sounding off from the communicator on the nightstand. The spell broken, Jim smiled weakly at Spock.

"Guess I should answer that," he mumbled. Spock nodded mutely, feeling dejected and empty.

"I will make us tea," Spock said softly, standing and leaving the room. Jim felt every bit as miserable as Spock, but he forced some cheer into his voice when he answered the communicator.

"How's everyone's favourite suicidal maniac?" McCoy said merrily, his face popping up on the screen.

"Fantastic now that I'm not in that awful room," Kirk countered, forcing a smile. "Seriously, why the hell does everything have to be white?"

"Oh, quit your whining. How'd you sleep? Decently? Is Spock there?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, Spock is here. I slept pretty well. Had a rough time at first, but I was fine after that," Jim replied, hoping his voice didn't betray anything.

"Good. Listen, you tell me if you start having any problems. I'm your doctor, but I'm also your best friend. I wanna make sure you're okay." Jim smiled genuinely now at the concern of the man who was like a brother to him.

"Will do, Bones."

"Well, that's all I've got. Guess I'll let you go. Oh, and Jim?"

"Yeah, Bones?"

"Get some more blankets. There's no way Spock was warm enough with that thin blanket you've got there." Jim blanched instantly. So Bones knew. How the hell did he know? He heard Bones laugh before he ended the video call, and Jim looked around. He let out a frustrated groan when he realized the entire bed had been dishevelled, and there was a faint imprint in the sheets from where Spock had been laying. He composed himself before getting out of the bed, roughly throwing the sheets and the duvet back in place. He walked into the kitchen of his apartment to see Spock setting at the bar, his posture ever perfect, with two steaming cups. Jim saw that the one in front of him was herbal tea, but he smiled when he saw the cup for him.

"You made me coffee," Jim said.

"I assumed you would want the caffeine," Spock replied, admiring the sight of his Captain. His pyjama pants had fallen even lower on his hips, exposing the deep 'V' lines of his lower abdomen, and his hair was beautifully mussed from sleep. He hadn't shaved since he had been put into the coma, but Spock found his short beard to be surprisingly attractive. Little did Spock know that Jim was eyeing him appreciatively as well. Spock's lithe form was almost breath taking to Jim, with his lean muscles and ever-perfect appearance. He sat down next to the Commander, sipping his coffee gratefully. To his surprise, it was exactly how he usually made it.

"What did you put in this?" he asked.

"Approximately twelve point five grams of sugar, and thirty millilitres of cream. I believe that is how you usually request your coffee, is it not?" Jim was dumbfounded at the accuracy to which Spock knew how Jim liked his coffee.

"That's… that's perfect, Spock. I had no idea you know little things like this about me," Jim said gently.

"I take great care to learn the preferences of those I care for," Spock said, looking away. Jim thought he saw the tip of Spock's ear turn ever so lightly green, but he couldn't be sure. "My mother always spoke of the importance of 'the little things' as she phrased it. She told me often how nostalgia is made up of what once seemed like insignificant details. I have tried to remember what she said and live by it." Spock's heart flooded with sadness remembering his mother, but he was brought out of his sombre thoughts by Jim's hand, cool in comparison to his Vulcan skin, on his shoulder.

"I wish I could have met her," Jim said. Spock felt his eyes sting as tears threatened to spring from them, but he kept his composure.

"I believe she would have been very fond of you, had she known you," Spock replied, his voice cracking at the end. Jim allowed his instincts to take over and he wrapped his arms around Spock. After hesitating, Spock returned the embrace when he felt the care and worry radiating from Jim.

"I'm so sorry. I never told you how sorry I am," Jim whispered, unconsciously pressing a gentle kiss to Spock's temple. Spock shuddered noticeably at the feeling of Jim's lips against his skin, and Jim broke the hug.

"I'm… shit, I'm sorry. I didn't… that wasn't…" he began, but Spock cut him off.

"There is no need to apologise, Jim. I care for you deeply. From you, affection is… welcome." Jim blushed brightly, but he felt a pang of sadness. So Spock just cared for him. He saw him as a close friend. Which they were, Jim reasoned. So why was he so depressed suddenly? It didn't make any sense to his conscious mind, but he smiled anyway.

"So, what's the plan for today?" he asked. Spock considered the question for a moment before answering.

"If I am to be caring for you while you recover, it would be logical for me to stay here, if that is permissible."

"Of course," Jim exclaimed, perhaps a bit too quickly.

"In that case, I must go to my apartment to gather clothing and other necessities. Would you like to accompany me, or would you prefer to rest here?" Spock asked.

"Is that even a real question? Of course I want to go with you. I don't want to end up hating this place as much as I hated that damn hospital room!"

"Very well. Might I suggest that you shower first?" Spock suggested.

"You calling me ugly?" Jim asked with a grin.

"I do not believe there is any way in which you would not be attractive," Spock replied bluntly. Jim felt himself blush again and turned to head to the bathroom.

"Thanks. Well, I guess I'll get cleaned up." Spock nodded and sat down on the sofa with his tea while Jim showered. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't quell his desire to join Jim in the shower, wishing desperately to feel his Captain in his arms again. After valiantly fighting with his mind, he was able to still his thoughts and enter a mild meditative state, but it was shattered easily when he heard Jim exit the bathroom. He had a grey towel wrapped around his waist, the rest of his bare skin still glistening with water. Spock found himself admiring how truly beautiful his superior was to him.

"Spock, think you could help me out?" Jim asked. Spock stood immediately and strode over to Jim. He was nearly left breathless when he noticed that Jim hadn't shaven, opting instead to tidy up his short beard.

"What is it you need assistance with?" Spock said, his voice coming out softer than he had wanted and quivering slightly.

"Could you get my suitcase from the top of my closet? My clothes are in it, and whoever the idiot was that put my stuff in here for me thought it was a good idea to put the suitcase up there. Standing up for so long is really starting to wear me down, so I didn't think it'd be a good idea to get it down myself." Spock walked to the closet and pulled the suitcase down, not knowing that Jim was unconsciously enjoying the sight of the muscles in Spock's back moving under his tight shirt as he took down the suitcase.

"Thanks, Spock," Jim said gratefully.

"You are welcome, Jim," Spock replied. "Do you need any further assistance?"

"I think I'll be okay. Maybe stay in here just in case though?"

"Of course," Spock said, respectfully turning around so that Jim could change. He heard the shuffling of clothes and the jingle of a belt before he heard Jim hiss in pain. He turned and was at Jim's side in an instant, catching him as he fell. They both gasped at the electricity they felt upon their skin contacting so fully, but Spock remained strong and gently lifted Jim to sit on the bed. Through their touch, Jim was surprised to find that he could feel Spock's emotions as his shields had fallen slightly, and he felt overwhelming concern and… love? No. No, it couldn't be.

"Thanks," he breathed. "Guess my legs just gave out on me." He had managed to get his underwear and pants on before he collapsed, and he carefully reached down to pick out a grey, long-sleeved Henley shirt. Spock forced himself to avert his eyes as Jim pulled on the form-fitting shirt, and nearly gasped when Jim placed his hand on Spock's wrist.

"I'm really glad I have you," Jim said quietly.

"I am glad to have you in my life as well," Spock replied. Jim didn't realise that he had begun gently rubbing Spock's wrist with his thumb, nor did he realise that he was making Spock's heart race. Spock had his mental shields firmly back in place, otherwise he would have felt the desire that Spock was desperately fighting down.

"Spock?" Jim asked. "Do you… do you believe in soulmates?" Spock's breath caught in his throat.

"I am… unsure. The idea does seem to have validity," he replied slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I dunno. Just something about you gets me thinking about things," Jim said, standing. Spock stood with him, his arms ready to catch Jim again if the need arose. His face was as calm and composed as ever, but Jim could see the worry in his dark eyes. They were so very human sometimes.

"Let's go get your stuff," Jim said, smiling at him. And Spock felt himself taken aback yet again at how much this human had managed to get under his skin. Maybe what Nyota and Dr. McCoy had told him had some validity after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ahhhh chapter 5! I received requests for longer chapters and faster updates, so that's what I'm attempting here! Don't get your hopes up that all the chapters will be this long or updated this quickly, but I promise I shall try to do so! Read, enjoy, and please review! And for those who are curious, the song is "The Edge of Tonight" by All Time Low. I found it so fitting it almost hurt! xx - Rabbit**

* * *

After Spock had hailed a taxi, he and Jim ended up at his apartment. Jim was more curious than he cared to admit about how his Commander kept his living space. Truthfully, Jim had never even seen Spock's quarters on the _Enterprise,_ despite the fact that their quarters were joined, with a bathroom serving as the shared link between them. He waited with bated breath as Spock waved his key card in front of the scanner on the door, and followed inside quickly once the door opened with a quiet click.

Once his eyes had adjusted from the bright light outside, he was rather disappointed. The apartment was uncomfortably warm, which he expected, but very ordinary apart from that. There was a plain grey couch with a clear glass coffee table, a clear glass teapot on the stove, and a TV set into the wall, which Jim suspected never received any use. There was a small shelf by the door to store shoes, and a bookshelf on the far side of the living room filled with books. Approaching them curiously, Jim saw that they were alphabetised by author's last name. Why did he expect anything else? Jim pushed his sleeves up, hot despite the chill that had seeped into his bones from outside.

Spock glanced at Jim, suddenly feeling small and insecure.

"I apologise for the temperature. Would you like me to turn it down to a more comfortable temperature for you?" Spock asked. Jim flashed him a dazzling smile.

"No, don't worry about it. This is your place. Keep it how you need it to be comfortable. Worse comes to worse, I can take off my shirt or something." Spock's cheeks flushed a light green at the thought of Jim without a shirt, but he quickly turned to hide it, hoping Jim hadn't seen.

"Very well. I will go pack," he said, walking into the bedroom. Jim followed him after hesitating, hoping he wasn't overstepping any boundaries. Spock only glanced at him for a moment before continuing to gather his suitcase. Similar to the rest of the apartment, the bedroom was quite simple. The bed was pushed against the wall by the window, the nightstand by the bed having only an alarm clock, a small lamp, and a picture frame. There was low, simple table with a circular rug in a traditional Vulcan design on it set near the centre of the room, with an incense burner and a box to store incense on the table, which Jim figured Spock sat at to meditate. While Spock packed, Jim walked to the bed, sitting down on the ash-coloured comforter to look at the picture. His breath caught in his throat when he saw that it was a picture of a beautiful woman with dark hair wearing Vulcan robes. There was a young Vulcan boy standing in front of her, her hands on his shoulders. The woman had a mesmerising smile, and she looked overjoyed, her happiness evident even in the way she leaned down ever so slightly towards the boy whose shoulders she held. The boy's face was devoid of emotion, had he stared blankly at the camera. Even still, it seemed that the boy's lack of reaction had no affect on the joy the woman had. Jim knew that he was looking at a picture of Spock and his mother, Amanda.

He looked up sharply when he noticed Spock standing near him and looking at the picture himself.

"She was beautiful, Spock," Jim said. "You have her eyes."

"Thank you," Spock whispered, sitting beside Jim. A pained look flashed over his face for the briefest of seconds, before it was replaced by his usual collected expression.

"What's wrong?" Jim asked. Spock looked away, but Jim moved to look him in the eyes. He did not try to move away this time.

"It is of no consequence."

"Bullshit, Spock. It's important to you. That makes it important to me," Jim said.

"I merely wish that I had told her that I loved her. She told me so often that she loved me. I never once said it in return to her. She was forced into a life of no emotion, no love, no joy." Jim placed his hands on Spock's upper arms and forced him to look him in the eyes again.

"She knew. I can tell by how happy she was in that picture. She wasn't forced into some miserable existence, Spock. No one forced her to marry your dad. She loved him, and he loved her, so they married each other and had a son that they both love more than life itself. Just because Vulcans don't outwardly show emotion doesn't mean she thought there wasn't any emotion there. I'm sure she knew better than most how much Vulcans can feel. There are a lot of ways to say 'I love you,' Spock."

"I do not understand," Spock replied.

"My mom wasn't around for a lot of my life. But I know she loves me. Even though she doesn't say it much, she always used to send me messages before I went to bed that said things like, 'I hope you have wonderful dreams' and 'Be careful on your way to school tomorrow.' Just because she didn't say the words 'I love you' doesn't mean she wasn't saying them. She just said them in her own way. I know you loved your mom, and she knew it too. The way you nearly killed me when I tried to tell you that you never loved her is proof, Spock." Spock closed his eyes to stave off the stinging he felt in them, but he felt comforted by the overwhelming amount of concern he was feeling from Jim. After taking a breath to steady himself, Spock opened his eyes again and found himself astounded by how brilliant Jim's eyes were. In the gentle light, his eyes were the colour of the ocean on a cloudy day, a deep, grey-blue.

"Thank you, Jim," he said, standing up. Jim smiled gently up at him and carefully placed the photo back on the nightstand. Spock walked into the bathroom with a pair of clean pants that appeared, from what Jim could tell, to be dark denim jeans. He was surprised, as he'd never seen Spock in anything apart from his Starfleet uniforms, but he supposed he had to have clothes for when he was off duty. Spock exited the bathroom after a couple minutes holding his previously worn pants in a perfectly folded square. Jim sucked in a breath when he saw Spock turn his back to Jim and strip off his black shirt. He was mesmerised by the smooth, defined muscles that moved in his back, his skin a perfect alabaster. He pulled on a white, long sleeved t-shirt that fit snugly before adding a navy sweater to help him stay warm. God, he was beautiful, Jim thought before he could silence his desire.

Spock took no notice of Jim's staring as he packed enough clothes for a week as well as his toiletries. He was done quickly and efficiently and looked again at Jim.

"I believe I have everything I will need. Would you like to return to your apartment?" he asked. Jim smiled.

"Yeah, but there's a place I wanna stop first, if that's okay," he replied.

"To which place are you referring?"

"It's… kind of a surprise. Just trust me, okay?" Spock quirked an eyebrow at Jim, but nodded.

"It would be highly problematic if a first officer did not trust his Captain, Jim."

"That it would, Mr. Spock. That it would," Jim said, hopping up enthusiastically, motioning for Spock to lead the way out of the apartment. Once outside, Jim called a delivery bot to have Spock's suitcase taken to Jim's apartment while Spock called another cab. The bot showed up, a small flying metal box that delivered packages once the fare was paid. Spock placed his suitcase inside and scanned his credit card, watching as the door inside the box slid shut and the bot flew off to deliver his clothes. Once the taxi arrived and the two men were seated inside, Jim typed the destination on his phone and showed it to the driver.

"It's a surprise for my friend here, so that's why I typed it instead of just telling you," Jim told the driver. He nodded and began the drive to the place Jim wanted. The drive took about fifteen minutes, and Spock's mind was racing trying to figure out where they were going. He hated surprises. He was growing impatient, particularly when they entered an area he was very unfamiliar with, but Jim was just grinning like a five year old on Christmas. His smile grew even wider when they finally arrived, and Jim paid the driver once they had exited. Spock looked around, but only saw a few small shops and a tall cement wall with a few stray vines growing on it, a gate near the end of the wall.

"I fail to see your interest in this place," Spock said.

"That's because we're not there yet. Come on," Jim said, leading him to the gate. It was tall and made of a dark oak wood that seemed out of place with the glass and metal of the rest of the city. Jim opened the gate and walked inside, closing it behind himself and Spock once they were both inside. To Spock's surprise, behind the wall was a garden. There was a small tree in the centre with a koi pond at the bottom and several benches around the area. There was even a zen sand garden in the far back corner, and carefully tended to shrubs and flowers everywhere. Spock noticed a glimmer in the air above the garden.

"A force field," he said. Jim nodded.

"Keeps the heat in so the garden stays like this year round. Can't imagine it'd be too nice in this cold weather otherwise." Spock was taken aback by the beauty of the garden, and stared at Jim as he walked to the bench in front of the koi pond. Following, he saw a small tablet on a pedestal by the bench that Jim began typing away on.

"What is it that you are doing?" Spock asked. Jim grinned, not answering him. Shortly, Spock heard music begin to play from speakers hidden throughout the garden. Jim began blushing and walked up nervously to Spock.

"Dance with me," he said. Despite trying to hide beneath his usual false bravado, Spock could feel his nervousness.

"Vulcans do not dance," Spock replied, feeling nervous himself.

"No, they don't. But humans do. And you're half human. C'mon, Spock. Humour me," Jim said, his confidence shrinking by the second.

"I… do not know how," Spock admitted. Jim looked deep into his eyes, and when he sensed a slight feeling of permission, he carefully took Spock's left hand in his right and placed his other hand around Spock's waist, Spock mirroring the action. There was that familiar electric spark that they both felt, even though neither would admit it. Even though he had never danced before, Spock was a frightfully fast learner, and had infinite grace despite his nerves.

"I'm surprised they could find this song," Jim said softly, blushing. "It's old. From the 21st century." Spock listened carefully to the lyrics, feeling his heart swelling as they played.

 _It's a long way home,_

 _When you're on your own,_

 _And your only friends are traffic lights,_

 _Speaking in Morse code,_

 _The road is long,_

 _And I am tired,_

 _But with you on my horizon,_

 _I will drive until it all breaks down_

 _'Cause I can't breathe without you near,_

 _You keep me safe,_

 _You keep me sane,_

 _You keep me honest,_

 _You keep me alive,_

 _On the edge of tonight,_

 _Chasing tomorrow,_

 _With fire in my eyes,_

 _You're like a siren in the dark,_

 _You're the beat playing in my heart,_

 _You keep me alive,_

 _On the edge of tonight,_

 _Spent my whole damn life,_

 _Trying to get things right,_

 _And for every one of my mistakes,_

 _You gave me all these chances,_

 _When the roads too long,_

 _And I am tired,_

 _You are my horizon,_

 _And I'll drive until it all breaks down,_

 _You keep me alive,_

 _On the edge of tonight,_

 _Chasing tomorrow,_

 _With fire in my eyes,_

 _You're like a siren in the dark,_

 _You're the beat playing in my heart,_

 _You keep me alive,_

 _On the edge of tonight,_

 _We're on the edge of tonight_

 _Edge of tonight_

 _You keep me safe,_

 _You keep me sane,_

 _You keep me honest, honest,_

 _On the edge of tonight_

 _On the edge of tonight_

 _On the edge of tonight_

The two men danced together, both unconsciously getting closer together as the song played. Jim's hand slowly slid to the area between Spock's neck and shoulder, his other hand moving further around Spock's waist. Spock's own hands were both wrapped gently around Jim, and they both felt each other's emotions. Care, friendship, fear, insecurity, and love. They both avoided taking note of the love, still unsure of how to react to it. When the song ended, Jim leaned forward, foreheads touching, and smiled.

"What'll you do when I'm all rested and better?" he asked quietly.

"I will visit New Vulcan until the _Enterprise_ is ready for the mission," Spock said, and Jim thought he heard a twinge of sadness in his voice.

"Oh… so, I won't see you for a year then," Jim said, trying not to sound upset.

"It is only a year," Spock replied. "But you may, of course, contact me whenever you wish," he added as an afterthought. Permission to contact him cheered Jim immediately, which Spock felt. Spock gently broke their embrace and straightened his sweater.

"We should return to your apartment," Spock said.

"Yeah," Jim said, crestfallen. "I bet Bones'll want to stop by to check me over." He slid a hand through his hair dejectedly.

"Jim?" Spock asked. Jim looked up at him, trying to quell the emotions roiling through him.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for the dance."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6! So excited. You all get to meet my dear OC, Alina! You'll be seeing more of her in chapters to come, for sure! Read, enjoy, and please review! xx - Rabbit**

* * *

True to Jim's prediction, Bones messaged him while he and Spock were in the taxi back to Jim's apartment.

 _Need to look you over. Home?_ the text read.

 _En route there. Had to stop by Spock's to get his things. Should be back in ten._ Jim kept sneaking small glances at Spock who was as stoic as ever, looking disinterestedly out the window. The cab driver made a sharp turn, and Jim accidentally slid into Spock, their bodies touching gently.

"Sorry," Jim said, but he made no attempt to move, and Spock didn't ask him to. They sat contentedly, both silently enjoying the buzzing sparks they felt until they arrived at Jim's apartment. Jim paid the cab driver and they began the walk up the stairs to the apartment. Jim didn't have any trouble making it up the stairs despite his muscles protesting almost immediately, but he saw that Spock had his arms nearly touching Jim's waist just to be safe. Once the reached the third floor, the two men saw that Bones was already waiting for them outside of Jim's apartment.

"Hey, Bones," Jim greeted.

"Yeah, hey. Can you hurry and unlock this door? It's damn cold out here," Bones replied, hugging his arms to prove his point. Spock was relieved once the door was opened as well, feeling considerably colder than Bones, but refusing to show it. Jim watched in amusement as both of them rushed inside, Spock looking considerably more graceful than Bones.

"Want some coffee?" Jim asked Bones.

"Nah, thanks," Bones replied. "I can't stay long, actually. Just gonna take some blood and scram. I have to meet with a new medical officer that's going to be working under me on the ship."

"I didn't know you requested a new med officer," Jim said in surprise.

"I believe Doctor McCoy requested another medical officer in order to ease his mind. You do have a tendency to put the lives of many in danger," Spock said, and Bones snorted in laughter.

"Didn't know you could be sarcastic," he said to Spock.

"I am unsure what you found sarcastic in my statement," Spock replied in confusion. Jim rolled his eyes, pushing up his sleeve for Bones to take a blood sample. He hissed in pain, earning a concerned look from Spock, when McCoy unceremoniously jabbed the sample collector in his arm.

"Can't you do that any gentler?" Jim snarled. Bones just grinned devilishly.

"'Fraid not, Cap'n," he replied. "That's about all I need. You feeling okay? Not overly weak, no nausea, tremors, anything like that?"

"Not really," Jim said.

"Good, let's hope it stays that way. Well, I'm off. Spock, you tell me if anything happens with him, because I know the asshole won't tell me himself."

"Of course, Doctor," Spock replied coolly. Bones packed up his few medical supplies and left the apartment. Spock had to avert his eyes to keep from staring when he saw Jim beginning to remove his pants, moving closer all the same out of fear of his legs giving out again.

"I hope you don't mind," Jim said. "I was thinking we could order something for lunch and I could cook us something for dinner, so I wanted to be comfortable. You should change too."

"That would be acceptable," Spock replied. After he made sure Jim was in no danger, Spock unfolded his pyjama pants that he had set on Jim's bed. He hesitated before finally deciding to mirror Jim and remove his own pants in his Captain's presence. He heard Jim's sharp inhale when he was standing in only his tight black boxer-briefs and he quickly slid on his pyjama pants as well. There was a gentle voice in the back of his mind that was hoping Jim would walk up behind him, still his barely-trembling hands and pull him close, but the rational part of his mind silenced those thoughts almost immediately.

"You're beautiful," Jim whispered, but so quietly that Spock could not make out what he said.

"Jim?" he asked, to show that he had heard him.

"Oh," Jim stuttered, apparently unaware that he had thought aloud. "It's nothing. Just said it's chilly in here."

"It is slightly uncomfortable," Spock relented.

"Well, hey. Let's watch a movie. I've got a heated blanket we can use to stay warm," Jim suggested. "Y'know. To pass time after we order food," he added as a quick afterthought.

"If that is what you would like to do," Spock replied, looking momentarily uncomfortable.

"You've… you've seen a movie before, right?" Jim asked, suddenly insecure.

"Yes, Nyo—Lieutenant Uhura was found of watching movies." Jim deflated then, looking like a forlorn child.

"Well. We can watch whatever," he said.

"Jim," Spock said. Jim looked up sadly.

"I am… relieved that my relationship with Lieutenant Uhura has ended."

"But… why? You two were perfect."

"It is true that she and I were an effective match," Spock said with a sigh. "But I believe I always knew we would not last. I was unable to give her what she needs from a partner. And she is unable to give me what I need from a partner." His last sentence was spoken much more quietly than the rest, and Jim felt himself relaxing.

"What do you need from a partner?" Jim asked softly, walking closer to Spock.

"I am unsure," Spock replied, his voice even smaller. "I do not believe there are many humans who would be satisfied with a Vulcan partner, even a half human one, and there are very few Vulcans who would be satisfied with a human partner, even if he is half Vulcan." Jim felt his heart aching at Spock's words. He didn't feel like there were any people that could love him. He desperately wanted to say that no, he would be happy with him, but Jim just couldn't get his lips to form the words.

"I don't think that's true," Jim said eventually, stopping his advancing forward. "How… how about that movie?" Spock nodded, relieved to be leaving the conversation at hand. He had been almost praying that Jim would say that he wanted to be with Spock, but refused to allow himself to hope for what he considered to be the impossible. He sat down on the couch and watched as Jim retrieved a large, navy coloured electric blanket from the closet and clicked a small button on one of the corners, the light in the apartment providing the power for the blanket to work. Jim also used his PADD to order vegetarian thai food for the two of them, which his stomach quickly showed appreciation for by growling audibly. Jim sat down beside Spock and pulled the blanket over both of them, Spock instantly relaxing (as much as he ever did, that is) under the intense warmth of the blanket.

Jim smiled, he himself relaxing.

"TV, play us a movie," Jim commanded. The television screen lit up instantly, and a calm robotic voice replied, "What movie would you like to view, Captain Kirk?" Spock smiled inwardly at the fact that Jim had programmed the television to address Jim by his title. It seemed his flair for the dramatic had no end.

"Surprise us," Jim said, grinning at Spock. The screen changed to what appeared to be a horror movie, and a rather gory one at that.

"Don't worry, Spock. You can hold on to me if you get scared," Jim joked.

"It would be illogical to feel fear from watching a movie, as it is completely fictional," Spock responded in his usual deadpan tone. Jim rolled his eyes, but scooted closer to Spock anyway. He'd rather be suffocated by a mountain of tribbles than admit it, but Jim was secretly terrified of horror movies. He did his best to remain stoic, but Spock could sense his fear buzzing through their touch. He figured it would be best to pretend not to notice, so he kept his face forward, watching the film.

Several times throughout the movie, Jim jumped violently at the scares, once even gripping Spock's arm with a vice grip, instantly letting go when he saw Spock's eyes widen ever so slightly, and that pale skin turning even more white.

"Sorry," Jim breathed, laughing weakly. Spock nodded calmly. As the two men continued to watch the movie, Jim began to feel a strange twinge of panic surging up in him at the scene unfolding. One of the main characters, a teenaged man with blonde hair, was being chased by the villain of the movie, a demented serial killer with black eyes. The serial killer finally caught up to the main character when he tripped in the forest they were running in, and he violently kicked the teenager in the stomach. Jim's breathing began to near hyperventilation, and he was losing sensation in his hands and feet. Spock noticed and immediately commanded the television off, the screen going dark soon after.

"Jim, I believe you are having a panic attack," Spock said, believing the scene was similar enough to Khan's attack when they were on General Marcus's ship. Jim stared up at him, his eyes not really focusing on Spock, his entire body shaking. Spock's mind was racing, but the solution was quickly becoming clear. He lifted a hand to Jim's face and placed his fingers in the correct places.

"Forgive me for doing this without your permission, but I believe it is necessary," he said, melding with Jim's mind. Instantly, he felt the overwhelming tsunami waves of Jim's panic, but he used his skills of wading through emotions to survive the storm. He pushed deeper into Jim's mind, finding him beneath the waves.

"Spock?" Jim whispered, confused.

"I am inside your mind, Jim. I apologise, but I did not know how else to help relieve your panic."

"I'm so scared, Spock," Jim whimpered. Spock took a breath to steel himself before walking to Jim and pulling him tightly into his arms.

"I am here, Jim. You are safe," he said, sending waves of calm and care. Jim began to relax immediately, curling up against Spock.

"Please don't leave," Jim said.

"I will not," Spock replied.

"Promise?"

"Vulcans do not lie." Spock continued to hold Jim in his mind until he felt Jim's panic ebb away before he gently broke their mind meld. Jim opened his eyes, blinking back tears from the overwhelming fear he had felt, and found Spock looking at him with concern flooding his dark eyes.

"How… how much did you see? Of my thoughts," Jim asked finally.

"None," Spock replied. "My only concern was finding you. I did not look into any thoughts. To do so would be a grievous invasion of privacy, Jim."

"I was so scared."

"I would not allow any harm to come to you. I have watched you die once. I will not allow it to happen again." They were quickly grounded back in reality at the doorbell ringing, which Jim suspected was their food. He shakily stood up and opened the door, seeing an insulated delivery bot waiting for payment. Once he had scanned his card, he took their food from the bot and walked back inside.

"I believe we should report your panic attack to Doctor McCoy," Spock said after Jim had gotten their food ready. Jim quickly shook his head.

"I don't want him to worry. I cause him enough trouble as is."

"He is already worried about you. He would be more worried if he learned that you have been hiding things from him. As he is your friend, I do not think he would view your panic attack and nightmare as trouble. I believe he would view it as you being honest with him so that he can help someone he cares for." Jim felt like a child for wanting to hide so much from Bones, but he felt like such a burden.

"You are not a burden," Spock said quietly. Jim blanched when he realised that Spock had heard his thoughts through the touching of their forearms. Jim began sobbing at Spock's words, and leaned against his Vulcan friend, crying into his shoulder. Spock was thoroughly uncomfortable, but he wrapped his arms around Jim anyway, gently stroking his back. The action made no sense whatsoever to Spock, but it had comforted Nyota when she was upset, so he assumed it was the correct human reaction. Confirming his thoughts, Jim slowly began to calm down.

"I'll tell Bones," he whispered eventually.

"I believe he will be appreciative of the trust you will be showing by telling him," Spock replied. He felt Jim nod against his shoulder.

"Just… tomorrow, okay? I don't want to bother him today at least. Not when he's got that meeting with his new officer."

"That is acceptable," Spock replied.

* * *

Oblivious to the emotional turmoil Jim and Spock were both experiencing, Bones was feeling rather nervous himself. He was beginning to reconsider requesting another medical officer, but if he were being honest, he needed someone to help keep him afloat. There were so many people aboard the _Enterprise_ that being the Chief Medical Officer meant a great deal of stress. He felt comforted knowing he would have another doctor to help him and work under him.

He was headed to a small café to meet one Doctor Alina Sinda. Once he arrived, he began to nervously look around for her. He knew she would be identified by her Starfleet uniform, and he spotted her easily. She stood at the bar awaiting her drink, her back to Bones. From where he stood, all he could see was that she was rather short and thin, with long, glossy pewter tresses pinned messily up on her head. He took a breath to steel his nerves and walked up to her.

"Miss Sinda?" he asked. She turned to him and gave him a dazzling smile. He was slightly taken aback by her appearance. She was clearly not entirely human. Her skin was a pale blue, her eyes almost a neon green. Her eyebrows and long eyelashes were white as snow. She was the picture of ethereal beauty, and she laughed a tinkling bell laugh when she saw him staring so openly.

"That's me," she said, her voice a lilting soprano. "Call me Alina. And to answer your question, I'm one quarter Thynestrian on my mother's side." She stuck her hand out, which Bones weakly shook.

"Leonard McCoy. Some people call me Bones," he replied. There was that smile that made the sun look dim in comparison. She turned to the barista before he even called out her order, and picked up her green tea latte with a wink at Bones, which made him blush immediately.

"Nice to meet you, Leonard. Would you like to get a coffee and sit so we can talk more comfortably?"

"Yeah, that sounds nice. I'm exhausted."

"Being the CMO of a ship like the _Enterprise_ can do that to a man, or so I'm told," she said, walking with him to order his drink. Bones ordered a simple flat white and walked back to the bar.

"How did you know your drink was ready before he called it out?" he asked.

"Thynestrians are highly telepathic. Even though I'm only a fourth, I still have a bit of telepathy. Not nearly as much as your Vulcan first officer, though."

"Wow. You already know crew names?"

"Only the officers," Alina replied. "And your drink is ready." Immediately after she said it, the barista called Bones's drink out, which he picked up gratefully. He desperately needed the caffeine. The two sat down at one of the tables and made idle chit chat. Bones learned that Alina was raised on Thynestria, but that she chose to live with her human father and half-human mother when she was seventeen. Her accent had nearly faded completely, but she still had a gentle sway in her words every now and then that Bones was mesmerised by. Her voice was positively hypnotic.

"I'm really grateful for this opportunity, Leonard," she said, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Oh. Oh! Yeah, no problem. I'm glad to have another doctor aboard. The _Enterprise_ is a nuthouse sometimes." She smiled her heart-achingly beautiful smile again.

"I look forward to it," she said. "Well, it has been so wonderful to meet my commanding officer, but I'm afraid I need to go now. I promised my mother I'd get dinner with her tonight, and I have a few errands I need to run before that. Here's the number to my communicator. Feel free to contact me for anything." She handed Bones a small card with a string of numbers on the front, underneath her last name in simple, silver letters. She stood and walked off, and Bones couldn't help but stare at the lithe curves of her body as she strode away. Fuck, why did she have to be so goddamned sexy? He groaned inwardly.

This five year mission just got a lot more interesting for him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Ahhh you guys I'm so excited for this chapter. I hope you all like it! c:**

 **As always, please please review! They really do help. xx - Rabbit**

* * *

Back at Jim's apartment, he and Spock had eaten their dinner and began a several-hour long marathon of chess once Jim had calmed down. Spock was mildly frustrated at his percentage of wins being at approximately 62 percent, which was down from his prior 69 percent. Spock had learned nearly every chess strategy under the sun, which made him an unbeatable force against most other chess players, but Jim… he was without strategy. He was wholly unpredictable, which is exactly what earned him many of his victories. He was brought out of his sulking by the sound of Jim's stomach angrily growling. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly 7:30 at night. Jim smiled sheepishly at him.

"Sorry. We humans tend to get hungry, unlike Vulcans," he said in jest.

"Vulcans do feel hunger. It is just a less frequent occurrence," Spock replied seriously. Jim stood, squeezing Spock's shoulder once he was up.

"I was kidding, Spock. Think you could eat? I did promise to cook you dinner, after all."

"What is it that you will be preparing?" Spock asked.

"It's a spicy roasted red pepper pasta. No animal products. I remember you saying a lot of Vulcan food is spicy, so I figured you'd go for this."

"It does sound quite appetizing," Spock replied with a nod. Jim felt like he had won an award from gaining Spock's approval, and he merrily walked into the kitchen to begin cooking. Spock sat at the bar and watched with interest at his human friend. He tried to tell himself he was watching to see how the food was being prepared, but deep down he knew he was watching Jim and Jim alone.

"Haven't you seen someone cook before?" Jim asked with a laugh when he saw Spock watching him.

"Of course," Spock replied.

"Let me guess. I've got something on my face, don't I?"

"You do not," Spock said, looking away. Jim felt a blush creeping up onto his cheeks, so he turned quickly and removed the now-charred red peppers from the oven. After carefully peeling the charred skin off, he plopped the peppers in the blender with a splash of almond milk and a large mix of spices, blending the peppers into a creamy, spicy sauce. Once smooth, he dipped a spoon into the mixture and tasted it, then he took a clean spoon and dipped it in the sauce and brought it over to Spock, standing as close as he dared without seeming awkwardly close.

"Open up. I want to see if you think it's spicy enough," he said nervously. Spock obeyed, allowing Jim to feed him the sauce. It was, to Spock's mild surprise, delicious.

"There is nothing that needs to be altered," Spock told him, and Jim positively beamed. He was about to head back into the kitchen, when Spock said his name softly. He turned back to his commander. Spock hesitated noticeably before lifting his hand and gently ghosting his thumb over the corner of Jim's mouth, making Jim shudder at their touch. Spock too felt the electricity again, but he forced himself to ignore it.

"You had sauce there," Spock said, bringing his thumb to his mouth and licking the sauce off.

"Th-thanks," Jim stuttered, turning quickly back into the kitchen. He could tell that his face was a burning red, so he was determined to keep his back to Spock. He also wanted desperately to take an ice shower to stifle the erection he felt growing in his pyjama pants, but he hardly even admitted that to himself. He somehow managed to finish cooking dinner without showing the erection that was blatantly obvious in his pants when it finally started to calm down. Jim let out a sigh of relief when it was no longer noticeable, and plated their pasta. He poured a glass of wine for himself and water for Spock before sitting down beside the Vulcan at the bar with their food.

"Have at it. I hope you like it," he said, nervously praying to any deity listening that the food turned out well. He watched Spock take a small bite, placing the fork back on the plate after.

"I did not know you were proficient in cooking," Spock said, and Jim felt a flood of relief. He decided to take his commander's words as a compliment.

"Thanks," he said bashfully. "I'm just glad you like it." He took a bite of his own food and found that it really was quite delicious. Eating vegetarian food wasn't nearly as bad as he had been expecting, and the gratitude from Spock was more than incentive enough to continue. The two men ate in comfortable silence, after which Spock decided to shower.

"There are clean towels under the sink," Jim told him.

"Thank you, Jim. And thank you for preparing dinner," Spock replied.

"You're welcome." While Spock left to shower, Jim put all of the dishes and cookware in the dishwasher and sat on the couch, wrapping the heated blanket around himself. It smelled like Spock, which was immensely comforting to him. He smelled of sandalwood and cedar, a clean, earthy smell that relaxed Jim to his very core. Despite not feeling tired, his deep relaxation lulled him to sleep thinking about how wonderful it would be to be in Spock's arms.

He wasn't asleep long before he was awoken by Spock leaning over him. He opened his eyes quickly and saw his first officer reaching towards his pyjamas that were perfectly folded on the other side of Jim.

"Forgive me, but I had forgotten my sleepwear," Spock said. Jim found himself unable to respond coherently, mesmerized by the sight of Spock nude apart from the towel wrapped around his hips. Lean muscles moved with almost hypnotic fluidity and his skin, still dewy from the shower, glistened in the soft light of the apartment. His smooth skin had a slight green flush from the hot water, and Jim couldn't help wanting to kiss every inch him. Spock had begun to walk back to the bathroom to change, when Jim softly said his name, partially hoping he wouldn't hear him.

"Yes, Jim?" Spock asked.

"Do… do you think you could sleep with me again? I'm… really scared I'll have those nightmares again."

"Of course," Spock replied, closing the bathroom door gently after. He reappeared shortly, his damp hair neatly combed into place and his teeth brushed.

"I believe you should message Doctor McCoy about speaking with him tomorrow," Spock suggested.

"Yeah, you're right," Jim replied, pulling out his communicator.

 _Bones, wanna meet for coffee tomorrow?_ The message read.

 _Sure thing, Jim. 12?_ Came Bones's reply almost immediately.

 _Sounds like a plan,_ Jim messaged back, closing his communicator. He felt a wave of exhaustion crash over him, which he met with annoyance. He was so used to having a nearly endless supply of energy, that being so weak was infuriating.

"You should not expect your body to be back at full capacity so soon," Spock said, causing Jim to notice that their forearms were touching loosely. "You are doing better than expected. You must be patient."

"I know you're right. It's just hard. I feel like a cripple that has to have everyone take care of him," Jim replied.

"No one is required to care for you, Jim. You are fully capable of recovering on your own. I am caring for you because you are my friend and I wish to help you in any way I am able. Doctor McCoy cares for you greatly as well, and is more than willing to spend time to help you recover." Spock saw that Jim was still looking away, refusing to make eye contact. He felt overwhelming sadness and guilt at having to be taken care of flooding from Jim.

"Look at me, Jim," Spock commanded, and Jim immediately looked into Spock's whiskey eyes, feeling a shiver course through his body from the intensity that Spock was looking at him. "When Mister Scott called me to engineering after the _Enterprise_ nearly crashed into the planet, I felt a dread that rivaled even that which I felt the day my planet was destroyed. When I saw you in that compartment and he informed me that the door was locked and could not be opened, I felt an even greater pain than that caused by the loss of my planet. Watching you die was almost unbearable, and it was the first time I have ever cried. I had no control over my emotions whatsoever. I did not want to think about continuing life without you, my Captain and my friend. I very nearly killed Khan with my bare hands, and I would have, had Lieutenant Uhura not beamed down and stopped me. When you awoke from your coma, I felt a joy so overwhelming it threatened to consume me. Do not ever feel that you are a burden, James Kirk. That feeling could not be further from the truth."

Jim felt tears threatening to spill from his eyes at the infinite well of love and care he felt from Spock's words.

"Thank you," he whispered with a weak smile. "How about we head to bed? All this talk is making me even more tired than I already was. Emotions are exhausting." Without responding, Spock stood and lifted Jim into his arms, much to Jim's shock. He didn't even have to strain at all to lift him, reminding Jim of the frightening strength of Vulcans. He clung to his first officer as he was carried into the bedroom and gently laid down upon the bed. Spock got into the bed from the other side, pulling the comforter over the both of them.

"Do you want more blankets?" Jim asked.

"I believe our combined body heat will be sufficient," Spock replied. Jim smiled and rolled on his side, looking at the few bright stars that managed to penetrate the light pollution from the city. After a good moment of hesitation, Spock turned on his side too and wrapped his arm around Jim's slender waist, pulling him close. Despite being taller than Jim, Spock found that their bodies aligned perfectly, and Jim's warmth was wonderful.

"Goodnight, Spock," Jim whispered.

"Sleep well, ashayam," Spock whispered in response, but the last word was so quiet that Jim was unable to hear it.

* * *

Several miles away, Bones was sitting in his apartment, nursing a glass of rum. He was horrendously depressed, because the next day was his daughter's birthday, and he had already been informed by his 'lovely' ex-wife that he would be unable to see his child. He wanted to talk to Jim, but he didn't want Jim worrying, as the stress could hinder his recovery. He pulled out the card his new medical officer had given him and stared at the silver letters and numbers on it. She _did_ say he could contact for anything… He flipped open his communicator and entered her number.

 _You meant it when you said I could contact you about anything, right?_ He sent. He took a long swig of rum before he heard the communicator beep. Opening it again, he saw Alina Sinda's response.

 _Of course I did. I am surprised you need me so soon, though! How are you, Leonard?_ She said.

 _Been worse. Been a hell of a lot better though._ Bones sent.

 _Did something happen?_

 _Yeah,_ Bones typed bitterly. _My ex wife happened. Our daughter happened. And her birthday is happening tomorrow without me._ Alina took a painfully long time to respond, and Bones was beginning to think he had freaked her out.

 _Where do you live?_ Came her response, finally.

 _1088 Sirius Plaza, apartment 205. Why?_ Bones replied.

 _I'm coming over. You might not be able to be with your daughter, but you won't be alone._ Bones suddenly felt nervous and began regretting his decision to message Alina. She was his subordinating officer and here he was complaining to her about his personal life. He glanced around his apartment and panicked when he saw how messy it was. He had clothes strewn everywhere and unwashed dishes in the sink. He shot up from his chair and began desperately trying to gather up his clothes, unceremoniously throwing him in his clothes bin in his closet. He had just started putting dishes into the dishwasher when there was a knock at his door. Cursing under his breath, he walked to the front door and opened it.

The sight of Alina took his breath away. Her silvery hair was down and hung almost to her hips, her face free of any makeup, and she was wearing tight jogging pants underneath a loose long-sleeved shirt that hung off of one shoulder.

"Hi, Leonard," she said with a smile that lit up the darkness.

"Hey, Alina," Bones stuttered nervously. "I'm so sorry about this. This is completely awkward. I mean, hell, we just met today, and-" He quieted when Alina shook her head and held her hand up to silence him.

"We're going to get to know each other very well on the _Enterprise._ As far as I'm concerned, expediting that process can only help. And like I said, no one should have to be alone, especially not when your ex won't let you see your daughter on her birthday. May I come in?" Bones quickly stepped aside.

"Of course, yeah. I'm sorry about the mess. I, uh… well. It's not normally this bad." Alina laughed her lilting bell-laugh.

"I heard you frantically cleaning before I even got to the door," she said. Bones felt his face turning beet read. _Damn telepaths,_ he thought.

"I'm sorry. I can usually tune out what others are thinking, but you caught me when I was in bed, and I can't control what I hear as well when I'm tired."

"No, no, it's fine. Really. Don't worry about it. Can I get you something to drink?" he asked.

"Bit late for that, don't you think? But, if you're drinking, I guess I can have one as well. Black spiced rum?" Alina asked, making Bones smile despite himself.

"Girl after my own heart," he replied. "Black spiced rum is my drink of choice." Bones walked into the kitchen and poured a small glass of rum, handing it to Alina. His eyes grew wide when he saw her tip the glass back and swallow it all in one gulp.

"Clearly you aren't a novice at shots," he said.

"What can I say? I hold my liquor well," Alina replied. Bones poured her another rum, which she accepted with a smile before walking into the living room and sitting on the couch. Bones couldn't help but notice the perfect curves of her body as she moved, and he mentally slapped himself for staring.

"You're pretty good looking yourself," Alina said with a grin. He felt the heat rise to his face immediately.

"I am so sorry," Bones choked out.

"Don't worry, Leonard. I don't mind. Come sit. Tell me about your daughter," she said. Bones obeyed, grateful to be away from his thoughts about how sexy she was. He gladly told her about his darling Joana, and showed Alina dozens of pictures of the precious little girl.

"She looks like you," Alina told him. Bones felt his heart swell with pride at being told that his daughter had his looks.

"I'm glad you messaged me," Alina said after a few minutes of silence.

"Really?" Bones asked.

"Yeah. I was feeling pretty down myself. I've never had many friends. Turns out a lot of people don't like having their minds read."

"Well, I'm glad you came," Bones said. "Feel free to stay here tonight if you want. Especially if you drove. I don't want you driving after drinking."

"I did drive. I guess I could stay here if you're sure you don't mind," Alina replied.

"As long as you don't mind the couch, it's all yours." Alina smiled, leaning over and kissing Bones on the cheek, rather close to his lips. He felt himself blushing yet again.

"Thanks, Leonard. I'd love to. As long as you realise this means you have to take me out for breakfast in the morning." Now it was Bones's turn to smile.

"I think I can manage that. Hell, Alina, I don't think I could ever say no to your smile. I hope that's not too forward."

"I come from a planet where everyone hears everyone else's thoughts. I don't believe in secrets. So no, it's not too forward," Alina replied with a laugh. "As it is getting fairly late, though, could I trouble you for a pillow and a blanket?"

"Yeah, sure thing," Bones replied, hopping up to gather what she requested. She accepted them gratefully and sat them on the couch. Walking close to Bones, he realised just how small she was. Alina barely even came up to his shoulders. He vaguely wondered if all Thynestrians were so tiny.

"Nope, most are actually around seven feet tall. My height is my human side taking over," she said, reading his thoughts. Alina smiled again, and reached up, placing one of her pale blue hands on Bones's cheek.

"Goodnight, Leonard. Dream sweetly," she said. Bones took her hand gently in his own and kissed the top of it.

"I will if you will," he said.

"I'll do my best, then," Alina replied. Bones smiled at her before heading into his bedroom, only closing the door partially. Alina stretched out on the couch, which was far more comfortable than it looked, and fell asleep with little difficulty, smiling from the thoughts Bones was having about her. Bones felt his own mood had lifted dramatically and he curled up and fell asleep nearly as soon as his head hit his pillow. Messaging Alina was definitely one of his better ideas, that much was certain.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ahh, chapter 8. I hope you all like it! Not much to say here, other than _Drama Booooomb._ As always, please review! They really do help. 3 xx - Rabbit**

* * *

Bones slept like the dead, immensely comforted by the fact that he wasn't alone, and he knew if the depression caused by missing his daughter's birthday became too great, he had Alina there to cheer him up again. Alina slept extraordinarily well herself, as she too was glad not to be alone. When morning finally came, Bones awoke early and sleepily shuffled into the kitchen to make coffee. He saw Alina's sleeping form and couldn't keep himself from smiling at how beautiful and peaceful she looked with the early dawn light coming between the blinds and painting pale yellow stripes on her baby blue skin and silver hair. She was sleeping in a position not quite on her side, but also not quite on her back, and the blanket had slid down to her hip, exposing a sliver of skin where her loose shirt had ridden up in the night. Bones heard the apartment's air-conditioning turn on, and Alina hugged herself soon after to ward off the cool air blowing on her. Despite being unsure of himself, Bones quietly walked over and leaned down to pull the blanket up over her thin shoulders.

 _I really hope this isn't inappropriate or something,_ Bones thought nervously. Alina smiled and groggily opened her bright green eyes as he was pulling the blanket up over her.

"Not inappropriate. It's sweet," she said, her voice quiet from the sleep still tugging at her hazy consciousness. "Good morning, Leonard."

"Uh, good morning," Bones choked out, dazzled by her smile. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Better than I have in years," she replied. Bones smiled back, relieved.

"I'm glad. I was worried the couch wouldn't be comfortable. So, I believe I owe you breakfast."

"You do. What do you have in mind?"

"I have to admit that I'm pretty boring when it comes to food. I can probably manage some decent bacon, eggs, and pancakes, though," Bones said.

"Throw in some coffee and you have me at your beck and call," Alina replied with a grin. Bones stood and offered his hand, Which Alarice took with her dainty small one and stood up as well. She ran her hands through her hair to get some of the more prominent tangles out and walked to the bar, taking a seat to watch Bones as he cooked. He made their coffee first, turning to Alina once he had it poured into two mugs.

"How do you take your coffee?" he asked.

"Black," she said with a smile. "And because you were wondering, I like my eggs scrambled, bacon almost burnt, and I'll eat pancakes no matter how they're made." Bones let out a laugh, as he had hardly realised he had been wondering those things, and had been nervous to ask.

"Yeah, I think you and I are gonna make one hell of a team on the _Enteprise,_ " he said. Once he had finished cooking their breakfasts, Bones plated up their food and brought it to the bar, settling down in the chair beside Alina. She ate quickly, somehow managing to seem as dainty as ever, despite eating with the zeal of someone who had been starved for months.

"Christ, did you even taste the food?" Bones asked when Alina had finished her food while he still had half of his left.

"I did, and you get a gold star for your cooking! I'm going to have to run a marathon to work off all that bacon, though," Alina laughed.

"I seriously doubt that. You're so tiny, you could probably use a few extra pounds," Bones replied.

"I am tiny, and I'd like to keep it that way! Have you ever seen a fat Thynestrian? It's not a pretty sight!"

 _I don't think there's any way you could be anything less than stunning,_ Bones thought, making Alina smile.

"Ditto," she said, and Bones blushed crimson red at having his thoughts heard. "Well, I really hate to say it, but I should get going. I have a meeting with Starfleet to go to, and I believe you have coffee with Captain Kirk, am I right?"

"Yeah, at noon. I probably should shower," Bones said, trying to keep the twinge of sadness at the thought of Alina leaving out of his voice.

"Personally, I think you look quite devil-may-care. It's a good look for you. Although I suppose a shower and a shave would be more befitting the CMO of a Starfleet ship."

"I guess that's true enough. Listen, I want to thank you for coming. You really helped keep me afloat last night. I'd probably be hungover and miserable if you hadn't come," Bones said.

"I'm glad I could help. Thank you for the wonderful breakfast. And please, promise me you won't hesitate to message me if you ever need anything," Alina replied.

"You have my word," Bones said. To his shock, Alina moved closer to him and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Now your promise is sealed with a kiss," she said, the breath from her words ghosting across his lips. He shivered, his thoughts instantly a blissful haze. Alina giggled before heading towards the door.

"I'll see you soon, Leonard," she said, walking out of the apartment and closing the door behind her. Bones shambled into his bathroom once Alina had left, shedding his clothes on the way there. He knew he was going to have to take a damn cold shower if he wanted to have any chance at focusing on whatever it was that Jim wanted to talk to him about.

* * *

At Jim's apartment, he too was preparing to take a shower.

"Are you sure you will be able to stay standing long enough for your shower?" Spock asked, the worry just barely coming through in his voice.

"Don't worry, Spock," Jim reassured. "I'll be fine. If I need you, I'll call you. I promise." Jim stilled when Spock placed a warm hand on Jim's upper arm, causing Jim to shudder at the spark he felt.

"I am worried," Spock relented. "You have a tendency to minimize your discomfort." Jim smiled, covering Spock's hand with his own.

"I'll be okay. You can stay in the bathroom if it'll make you feel any better. The shower door is opaque, so it's not like you'd see anything. Plus, I imagine you'd like the heat."

"I am not acclimated to high levels of humidity, but you are correct that joining you in the bathroom would provide some level of comfort," Spock replied.

"Come on, then," Jim said, walking into the bathroom. Spock followed, respectfully looking away when Jim disrobed, despite the almost overwhelming urge to look at Jim's bare form, all lean muscles and smooth skin. Spock relaxed once Jim was in the shower with the door closed behind him, and his nerves settled when Jim seemed to be strong enough to withstand being on his feet for so long.

"So, you got your eye on any ladies now that you and Uhura are over?" Jim asked, trying to keep his voice as neutral as he could.

"No, I do not see myself with any other women," Spock said truthfully. "And yourself? I am surprised you did not show more interest in this medical officer that is to be working under Doctor McCoy."

"Yeah… Nah, I mean, I'm sure she's great, but Bones gets dibs. I'm not really looking for any ladies right now anyway," Jim replied.

"That is also surprising. You have always been very flirtatious," Spock said.

"Well, people change," Jim said, more harshly than he meant to.

"Forgive me, Captain. I did not mean to offend or insinuate-"

"I'm not your Captain right now," Jim interrupted, and Spock felt his cheeks flush green at Jim's admonishment.

"I apologise, Jim," Spock said softly. Jim raked his hands through his hair with a huff, guilt flooding him for how he had spoken to his first officer.

"No, I'm sorry. You didn't mean anything by it. I overreacted. I didn't mean to get upset," Jim said. "At any rate, I'm going to get out now. Don't want to be late to meet Bones." Spock turned away from the shower again as Jim stepped out, quickly drying himself off and wrapping the towel around his waist. Spock watched with fascination as Jim combed his hair roughly into place and made sure his short beard was trimmed neatly. He applied his deodorant and cologne, pulling on a light blue sweater that brought out the hypnotic blue of his eyes. Spock turned a final time while Jim removed his towel and slid on his underwear and faded jeans. He looked, Spock thought vaguely, as if he had stepped off the cover of one of those Earth magazines that Nyota seemed interested in reading from time to time. With one of his famous toothy grins, Jim turned to Spock, arms splayed wide.

"How do I look?" Jim asked.

"You look exceptionally put together," Spock said, although the word that had come to his lips first was _breathtaking._

"Thanks," Jim said, a faint blush creeping onto his face.

"Shall I accompany you to see Doctor McCoy?" Spock asked.

"Nah, I'll be fine. You can relax here, and make yourself at home. I don't think I'll be gone long, and I'm sure if anything did happen that Bones could take care of me. And don't worry. We'd call you immediately," Jim said, offering a hand to help Spock stand, which he accepted, his warm, slender fingers resting gently in Jim's palm. The two men walked back into the living room, and Jim called for a taxi to pick him up to take him to the café that he and Bones had agreed on. Once it had arrived, Jim said goodbye to Spock before getting in, leaving Spock alone at the apartment.

The café the two men were to meet at was one of Jim's favourites. It was called The Bluebird Café, and they had the best coffee in the city, according to Jim. He sat down at his usual corner table once he had ordered his coffee and waited for Bones. He only had to wait for a few minutes before Bones strode in the door, looking happier than Jim had seen him in ages. He merrily ordered a coffee of his own before sitting down across from Jim.

"Afternoon, Cap'n!" Bones said with a smile.

"Someone's sure happy. I take it your meeting with the new med officer went well?" Jim asked.

"Jim, it went better than well! It went _perfectly!_ She's amazing. Her name is Alina, and she's a quarter Thynestrian! _Thynestrian,_ Jim! Do you know what that means?" Jim shook his head no, earning a scowl from Bones. "It means she's _telepathic!_ Think how perfect that'll be on the Enterprise! She'll be able to hear my thoughts before I even piece them together! And she's damn beautiful too. I can tell she's one hell of a firecracker at that! She stayed at my place last night because I was upset about missing Joana's birthday, and she turned my night and today from shitty to good! I can't stop thinking about her, man. I have no idea what the hell to do, but somehow I don't even care!"

"Holy hell, Bones, that's great! I'm happy for you. Wait, she stayed with you last night? Did you two bang?" Jim asked.

"No, no, no. I mean, don't get me wrong, I sure as hell wouldn't have turned down that amazing smile of hers, but no. I think it would have been too fast, and I'm sure she thought so too. I think she might like me back. I don't know, but I hope so. Lemme show you a picture of her. I got her to send me one for her contact picture." Bones excitedly whipped out his communicator and showed Jim a picture of Alina, and she was, truly, stunning.

"Wow, Bones. She's almost too gorgeous to be real. I hope you two work out well. In both the professional and the personal sense of the phrase," Jim replied, with a smile.

"Thanks, Jim, that really means a lot," Bones said, smiling back. "So, what was it you needed to talk to me about?" Jim felt his throat tighten up at Bones's question, and he felt nervousness tense up all of his muscles.

"Oh, it's… uh, it's nothing. I wanna hear more about what happened with Miss Alina last night!" Jim lied. Bones, to Jim's great relief, was all too happy to continue talking about his new officer, and while Jim was immensely happy for his best friend, he felt terrible for lying to him. He just couldn't bring himself to tell Bones the problems he had been having. The two talked for nearly an hour before Jim excused himself, saying he needed to rest. Bones agreed, standing outside with Jim until his cab arrived, before clapping him on the shoulder and leaving in his own cab. Jim felt the guilt completely take over the moment he was alone in the cab, and the feeling stayed all the way back to his apartment. Once he had gotten back inside, he slumped down on the couch, earning a worried look from Spock.

"Jim? How did your talk with Doctor McCoy go?" Spock asked tentatively.

"It didn't. Not really. I couldn't tell him, Spock," Jim sullenly replied. He saw Spock tense up, the Vulcan looking even more upright than usual.

"I see. Well, as you are clearly doing so well that you feel no need to be honest with your doctor and best friend, I suppose you are in no need of any further assistance from me. I will pack my belongings and travel to New Vulcan. I am glad you are recovering so quickly," Spock said, an angry edge evident in his voice. He walked into the bathroom, gathering his toiletries, and Jim followed, shocked at his response.

"Wait, Spock, just wait. What's going on? Why are you so mad at me?" he asked.

"Forgive me, but sarcasm is not a human trait I understand well," Spock replied tersely.

"I wasn't being _sarcastic,_ Spock. I was asking a fucking question. What's your problem?" Jim hissed. Spock turned and moved closer to Jim, looking down at him.

"My problem, _Captain,_ is that you seem unable to maintain honesty when it matters most. The man you claim to be your best friend is trusting that you are in good health, both mentally and physically, the former of which is arguably the more important of the two, and you _lied_ to him. You lied to me as well when you promised you would speak to him about your nightmares and panic attacks. As you have clearly chosen to take your recovery into your own hands, you have no further need of me. Now, if you will excuse me, I would like to pack my belongings and leave. I will travel to New Vulcan on the first available ship." Jim moved, if only to avoid Spock moving him, feeling anger rising in his own veins.

"Fine, leave. I'll be fine. I'm a Captain. I don't need you," Jim yelled. Spock ignored him, appearing calm, despite the storm of emotions hiding within his mind. He packed all of his clothes and the few other belongings he had and walked out the door, turning back before he closed it.

"I will see you in under a year. Live long and prosper," Spock said tonelessly. Jim refused to respond, looking away in anger. Once Spock had left, however, Jim was unable to stop the flood of tears that forced their way out of his eyes. He knew he had made a mistake in lying to Bones, but he had no idea that Spock would react so violently, and he felt completely abandoned by his first officer. He curled up on his couch underneath the blanket that still smelled of Spock and commanded the television to play a movie. He fell asleep with tears still on his lashes, not knowing that Spock was fighting down tears too.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9! I'm going to just be blunt here and say that this chapter does have quite graphic sex in it, so if you're uncomfortable with that... well, this fic has an M rating for a reason. As always, please review and enjoy! xx - Rabbit**

* * *

On the drive back to Spock's apartment, he took the time to schedule his trip to New Vulcan. It felt like a betrayal to leave his Captain, but his fury had not abated yet, and despite knowing that guilt would overwhelm him once his anger calmed, he scheduled his trip anyway. Once he had finished, he decided, perhaps unwisely (but still with calculating logic), to message Bones.

 _Doctor McCoy, I have decided to travel to New Vulcan earlier than originally planned. The Captain has made it quite clear that he no longer requires nor desires neither your nor my assistance in his recovery. If you wish to know the details of what I mean, I suggest you ask the Captain yourself. I will still be returning on the originally planned date, and I will be available for communication for the duration of my stay on New Vulcan. With regards, Spock_

Before he could talk himself out of it, Spock had already sent the message and roughly shoved his communicator into the pocket of his pants. He was thankful that the cab driver didn't attempt conversation, and he decided to pay the driver extra once they had arrived as silent thanks for not asking Spock to speak. Once Spock had arrived at his apartment and begun packing his belongings for his yearlong trip, he heard his communicator beep in his pocket.

 _Spock, what the hell is going on? Did you and Jim have a fight?_ Came Bones's reply.

 _As I stated in my original message to you, Doctor, please speak with the Captain if you wish to know the details. My shuttle leaves at 0400 hours, and I must pack._ To Spock's great relief, Bones didn't message him back. He felt the sadness and betrayal surging forward, but he filed the emotions away, desperate not to feel them. Once he had finished packing, Spock brewed a cup of tea and sat at his table to meditate.

Bones, across town, was in a near-panic. He had no idea what was going on, and Jim wasn't messaging him back. At a loss of what to do, he called Alina, tapping his foot nervously while the communicator rang.

"Hello, Leonard," Alina's velveteen bell-voice chimed.

"Hi, Alina. I need your help. Commander Spock and Captain Kirk had a fight or something, and Jim—the Captain isn't responding to me. I have a feeling he won't tell me what the hell is going on, so I need you to come with me to help me sort this out," Bones replied.

"Of course. What's his address? I'll meet you there."

"5672 Atelier Street, apartment 307. I'm about to hail a cab to head there now," Bones said.

"I'll leave now as well. Don't worry, Leonard. It'll be okay," Alina replied soothingly.

"Thanks, Alina. I'll see you there. Bye."

"See you there," Alina said before hanging up. Bones was able to hail a cab quickly, and he yelled at the driver to go as fast as he could. The ride to Jim's apartment seemed to take years, even though it was really only about fifteen minutes. To his surprise, Alina was standing outside the apartment complex when Bones arrived. She looked as beautiful as ever with her pewter hair in a messy, low bun and a charcoal cardigan atop a long shirt and black leggings to keep her warm. She walked up to Bones with a sad smile, gripping his left arm with her small hand.

"I'm here for you," she said softly. Bones closed his eyes and nodded.

"I can't thank you enough for this. I'm really worried about Jim. He's my best friend, and I know he'll lie to try to protect me. I want you to tell me if he lies about anything, okay?"

"I will. Come on, let's get inside. It's freezing out here," Alina replied, taking Bones's arm and leading him up the stairs to Jim's apartment. Her resolve and strength gave Bones an immense amount of comfort, and he happily allowed himself to be led. Once they reached the door to the apartment, Alina knocked loudly. To Bones's dismay, there was no response. He banged as loudly as he could on the door.

"Jim, it's Bones and Alina. Open up. Damnit man, open the fucking door!" Bones barked. After slamming his fist on the door several more times, Jim finally opened it. Bones could tell that Jim had been crying by how bloodshot and puffy his eyes were, and his hair was disheveled from the sleep he'd been falling in and out of.

"Christ, Jim, what the hell happened?" Bones breathed.

"Nothing, it's fine," Jim said. "What are you doing here?"

"Spock messaged me and told me he's leaving early for New Vulcan and that if I wanted to know what happened, I should ask you. But since you weren't responding, I called Alina and we came here to figure out what happened. You gonna let us in, or should we just freeze to death out here?" Jim slowly stepped aside, and Alina walked in without hesitation, Bones following behind her.

"Yes, I'm a telepath," Alina told Jim, responding to his thoughts. "And yes, I'll tell Leonard if you lie about anything that happened. It's nice to meet you, Captain. I'm Alina Sinda, but you already knew that." Jim weakly held out a hand to shake Alina's.

"Jim. We're not on duty, and right now I really don't want to think about being the captain of anything. Nice to meet you too," Jim replied.

"As you wish, Jim. Tell us what happened," Alina said gently. "I can read your mind even if you don't say anything, but it'd be a lot easier to just tell us." Jim sat down on the couch, slumping back into the cushions. Alina sat delicately beside him, placing a hand on his knee. Immediately, she felt a stab of jealous from Bones, but a quick reassuring smile at him quelled his jealousy.

"I haven't been totally honest with you, Bones," Jim began. Feeling out of place but unsure of what else to do, Bones sat down on the other side of Jim.

"What's going on, Jim. You're my best friend. You know I won't judge you," he said.

"I've been having nightmares. Bad ones. I wake up screaming. And Spock and I tried to watch a movie, and at one point during it I had a massive panic attack. The only reason I calmed down was because Spock did a mind meld on me and calmed me down himself. It's getting worse. I told Spock I'd tell you when we got coffee, but you were so excited about Alina, and I got so nervous, and I just couldn't. When I got back, Spock just exploded because I'd lied to you, and I don't know why, and so I yelled at him that I didn't need him, and he left. He left me, Bones," Jim said, his voice cracking at the end.

"You need to tell him how you feel," Alina said, her voice soft and soothing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jim replied.

"I think you do," Alina said, even more quietly, but Jim didn't respond.

"Look, Jim, I'll be honest," Bones began. "I'm pretty damn hurt that you didn't tell me. I'm supposed to be your best friend, and you did lie to me about something really important. But I'm not mad. I can prescribe you some sleeping pills that'll help you stay asleep and get you deep enough that you shouldn't remember any nightmares, and I can get you something for the panic attacks. It'll have to be tomorrow, though. You want me to stay here tonight, just in case?"

"Please," Jim whispered.

"You got it, Jimbo," Bones replied. "I'll have to go get something to sleep in from my apartment, but I can be back before long. I'll get us some dinner too." Jim nodded before taking a shaky breath.

"Thanks, Bones," he said as Bones stood to go.

"I'll stay with him," Alina said. "I don't think Jim should be alone at all right now." Alina felt another pang of jealousy, but a softer one. She gave him another reassuring smile and felt his jealousy turn to contentment, and Bones left the apartment to pick up clothes and food.

"What a way to meet your Captain," Jim said sullenly. Alina squeezed his knee again.

"I don't mind. A crew is like family. Listen, this is going to be quite forward, but I come from a planet where secrets and lies don't exist, so forgive me if this is too blunt. You need to tell Commander Spock how you feel. If your memories are in the slightest bit accurate, he feels the same way as you do."

"I… I don't know what you're talking about. Commander Spock is my… friend. Nothing more," Jim replied. Alina smiled sadly.

"Okay. But you should at least tell him how hurt you're feeling. It does seem like he reacted much more angrily than he should have, which, as I understand it, is unusual for Vulcans."

"He's half human. It shows sometimes. His eyes are very human," Jim said, his last sentence noticeably quieter than the rest.

"Something tells me he is probably well aware by now that he overreacted. I bet all it would take is a conversation between you two for him to apologise."

"I can't do that right now," Jim said, his face darkening. "I'm… angry at him. Or at least I think I am. I need time to calm down. If I talked to him right now, I'd just end up yelling at him."

"I understand," Alina replied.

"Bones is head over heels for you," Jim said after a few moments of silence. Alina laughed softly.

"I know he is. He can't stop thinking about me," she replied.

"I don't know how you feel about him. Just please don't hurt him. That man is like a brother to me. After what his ex wife put him through, he deserves to be with someone who will love him and take care of him. If you don't think you can do that, then just don't bother with him, okay?" Jim asked.

"I have no intentions of hurting Leonard. I just don't want to rush in to anything. It's hard when you can read minds, because eventually, everyone just wants their thoughts to be their own again. Not many people can handle being around me for long, even though I can't control my telepathy. Not well, at least. I want to take things slow with Leonard, not only for him, but for myself too. I want to make sure he knows what he would be getting into by dating a telepath."

"So you do like him too, then?"

"Very much so. I don't know what it is about him, but I can't stop thinking about him either." Jim smiled weakly.

"I hope you two work out. At least someone on board should be in a happy relationship." To Jim's surprise, Alina leaned forward and pulled him into a tight embrace, her slender arms around Jim's neck. Her skin was significantly cooler than a human's, but she smelled of jasmine flowers and somehow radiated comfort. Jim found himself hugging her back, the tears in his eyes brought back anew. They stayed like that for nearly a half hour, Alina gently rocking Jim and singing Thynestrian songs in a whispered voice. Even though he didn't want to admit it, cuddling with Alina like they were was easing his misery significantly.

"Tell me about Thynestria," Jim said eventually. Alina released him with a smile.

"The whole planet is greens and blues and purples. Thynestrians evolved as hunters. That's why we're blue. It's very effective camouflage. Eventually we formed massive cities in the trees, but the trees aren't like trees here. They're the size of some of Earth's skyscrapers, and they cover the whole planet. The buildings are made of _sooth'nadi_ , which is a type of stone. Well, it's similar to stone, but also similar to glass. It's somewhere in between, I guess you could say. It's a silvery, mirrored stone and it's very, very strong. Our builders have tools that allow them to shape it like glassblowers here shape their glass, and once it cools, it's almost impossible for brute force to break it."

"And do they all look like you do?" Jim asked.

"Not at all. Most are around seven feet tall, and Thynestrians, even the women, don't have hair. I only do because of my human genes. My mother looks much more Thynestrian than I do, but she has hair also. My grandmother doesn't, and she's very tall. I think she's at least seven foot four. We have a monarchy on Thynestria as well, but it's a good one. If the people become unhappy, the ruling family is obligated to step down and allow for a new one to be chosen."

"How is a new one picked? Voting?"

"No. All those who want to try to become the ruler have a trial by combat to the death. The winner's family becomes the new ruling family. I know it seems barbaric, but my people are hunters in their blood. It's considered a massive honour to be killed by someone who has more skills in combat than you." Jim was speechless.

"I can't believe I haven't heard of you guys before," he said.

"You would have if you wouldn't have skipped class so much," Bones said from the doorway. Jim jumped, startled because he hadn't even heard Bones come back. Alina stood and walked to him, helping him carry the food into the kitchen. Once they had sat everything down, Alina brought her hand up and softly caressed Bones's cheek with a smile.

"You're very handsome, Leonard," she said quietly. Bones blushed, still unused to hearing someone use his first name. Alina giggled before walking back into the living room.

"You _are_ hungry," she told Jim, hearing the thoughts he was having about turning down food. "You won't get better by starving yourself. And yes, it's Thai food. Leonard knows you well." Jim felt a small smile tug at his lips despite himself, and he stood and sat down at the bar, allowing Bones to hand him his food. As soon as the food was in front of them, Jim felt his appetite hit him immediately. All three ate quickly, speaking very little, until they were all positively stuffed. After a few moments of idle chit chat, Alina stood, pulling her long hair back into a ponytail on top of her head.

"Well, it's been wonderful hanging out with you two, but I think I'll go to the gym to try to work off all that food currently threatening to rupture my stomach." Jim was rather sad that she was leaving, but Bones was completely crestfallen. Alina laughed at his dejected demeanor.

"You know you can message me for anything," she told him. "The same goes for you, Jim. You can get the number to my communicator from Leonard. I hope you two have a good guys' night." Alina took Bones's hands and pulled him to stand, wrapping her arms tight around his torso in a hug. Without hesitating, Bones hugged her back, breathing in her flowery scent. After Alina let go, she gave Jim a hug as well, although she purposely shortened it for Bones's sake, which she heard him notice with appreciation in his thoughts. After giving Bones a quick kiss on the cheek, Alina said goodbye to the two men and left the apartment. Jim cleaned up their plates and he and Bones sat down to watch whatever television show was playing. Jim didn't pay much attention to it apart from the fact that it was some action show with a weak plot, but it was nice to just sit by his best friend and watch television.

"She really is perfect for you. Alina, I mean," Jim told Bones after the episode they were watching ended.

"Isn't she though? I can't believe she's real. This sort of thing never happens to me!"

"You know why, don't you?" Jim asked. Bones quirked an eyebrow inquisitorially, which made Jim think of Spock with a pang of heartache.

"It's because she's a firecracker and she's the one going after you. You're way too chicken to go after her. If she wasn't so brave, nothing would have ever happened."

"Oh, shut up," Bones barked, making Jim laugh.

"It's okay to be mad because I'm right," Jim said, to which Bones replied by shoving him hard, making Jim laugh even harder.

"You're such a dick," he said. "And I'm not chicken."

"Yes, you are. I don't think anything is going to happen unless she decides it's going to," Jim replied.

"Bullshit. I could go over there and start exactly what I've been wanting to start right now if I weren't babysitting you!" Jim gave Bones a dark grin.

"Yeah? Do it, then. I dare you. The chemistry is there for both of you. So prove me wrong." Bones blanched instantly.

"I… I can't leave you here. Don't want you being all depressed and pathetic," he said, desperately fighting for excuses not to leave.

"Come on, Mister Brave Man! Go get your woman and just come back here after and tell me all about it. Hell, bring her. You two can have my bed and I'll keep the couch. If you're not too scared, that is." Bones spluttered for words for a moment before finally puffing up his chest, reminding Jim of a bird showing off.

"Fine. I will. I'll see you later. _We_ will see you later," he said, standing and heading towards the door with determination.

"Wrap your willy before you get silly!" Jim laughed in a sing-song voice. Bones muttered a string of curse words in his direction as he realised that he was, in fact, without any protection. He turned back to Jim, eyes shut tight.

"You gonna give me a condom or what?" he hissed. Jim nearly doubled over in laughter.

"Been that long, Bonesy? Yeah, I got you," he replied before walking into his room and grabbing a handful of condoms from his stash in his nightstand drawer. He tossed them at Bones when he was back in the living room, and Bones left as quickly as he could. Once he was outside, he texted Alina before the panic had time to fully set in.

 _Feel up to meeting me at my apartment when you're done at the gym?_ Bones texted her, groaning when he hit send.

 _Sure, but what about Jim?_ She responded after a few minutes.

 _Jim gave me a couple hours of shore leave, I guess you could say. Felt like spending it with you, if you're okay with that._ Bones replied.

 _I'm okay with anything if it involves you, Leonard,_ Alina sent back, making Bones's heart flutter in his chest. He was still unsure of how she felt about him, despite the blatantly obvious signals she was sending him, but he allowed himself a small dose of hope. He arrived back at his apartment after a cab ride, and quickly tossed the condoms in his nightstand drawer. Alina arrived a half hour later, and even sweaty from her workout, she was the picture of ethereal beauty.

"Mind if I borrow your shower?" she asked with a smile, letting her hair down from the ponytail she had put it in. Once she was inside, Bones closed the door behind her, his nerves hitting him full force.

"I think that would be a little counter productive," he said, his voice shaking slightly.

"How so?" Alina replied. Bones slowly closed the gap between them, clearly unsure of himself but hoping his intentions were coming across clearly enough. When he was mere inches from her, he stopped, hesitation paralyzing his muscles. Alina chuckled softly, before grabbing Bones's head and pulling it down to hers, their lips colliding in a breathless kiss.

"Get on with it, then," she breathed against his lips, already fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. If he didn't care about taking things slow, then neither would she.

"Damn, you're perfect," he breathed back, helping her remove his shirt. Alina broke their kiss to remove her workout shirt, leaving her in a mesh, coral-pink sports bra that left nothing to the imagination. The erection that had begun to form in Bones's pants was almost painful when she stood before him, not even completely bare yet. With an almost animal look in her eyes, Alina pushed Bones backwards towards his bedroom, shoving him hard down on the bed. She stood and looked at him for an intense several seconds, admiring the tanned planes of his muscular torso. She climbed on top of him, unbuttoning his pants and helping him pull them and his underwear off. She moved further down, never breaking her intense eye contact, and slowly took the full length of Bones's member in her mouth. Bones let out a gasp of pure ecstasy; it had been a very long time since he'd been with a woman, and even longer since he'd been with one who knew what she was doing as well as Alina clearly did.

Alina ran her tongue along the underside of his shaft before sucking and licking the head, pausing for a moment to blow cool air across it, making Bones shiver.

"You like this?" she whispered huskily.

"Fuck, Alina, yes. God, don't fucking stop," Bones cried. With a laugh, Alina stood and removed the rest of her clothes, making sure to take her time to torture him. Once she was completely devoid of her clothing, she walked with confidence to the night stand and removed a condom from the drawer. Bones hardly took notice of what she was doing, focusing more on the smooth curves of her body, the way her muscles stood out perfectly in the dim lamp light. Her slate-grey nipples were firm from the chill of the apartment, and his eyes couldn't help but move downwards to the hairless area between her legs. With another smile, she took the condom out of its packet and placed it in her mouth, climbing atop him again and putting the condom on him with only her mouth and tongue. Bones had never seen anything more sexy in all his life.

"Leonard, are you sure about this? I don't do flings," she said, stilling from where she now straddled his hips. She leaned forwards and placed her hand on his cheek, the animal look fading from her green eyes. "I only do this if I think there's something real there. And only if that feeling is mutual."

"Alina, you haven't left my head for a single goddamn second since I met you. If that's not something there, nothing is. I don't do flings either. I want you like I've never wanted anyone, and I mean that both in what we're doing right now and in how I want to know every detail about you." Satisfied with his answer, Alina allowed the storm of lust she was feeling to return and she moved her hips down, allowing his cock to enter her, taking him nearly all the way inside of her. Even her insides were cooler than a human, Bones thought momentarily, but it was the most incredible feeling on earth. Once she had accustomed to his size, Alina slowly, deliciously, began to move her hips up and down, grinding against Bones's pelvis when she had taken all of him each time. Sensing that he was still feeling unsure of himself, Alina took his large hands and placed them over her breasts.

"You can do anything you want, Leonard. If I didn't want you touching me, I wouldn't be here right now. And you wouldn't be inside me," she breathed, moaning slightly at the end of her sentence as Bones thrust up hard, unable to control himself. Finally finding his courage, Bones wrapped one arm around her small torso and flipped them both to where she was on her back on the bed and he was on top of her. He began thrusting deep into her at a dizzying pace, both of them breathless and moaning. Alina tangled her hands in the short locks of his hair, and Bones held her head up, touching their foreheads together.

"Alina, I'm going to – ah –" he whispered.

"Cum for me," Alina whispered in reply, sending him over the edge. He thrust as hard and deeply inside of her as he could, completely lost in the throes of the most amazing orgasm he could remember ever having. Once he had caught his breath, embarrassment hit him when he realised how short of a time they had had. He collapsed down beside her, blushing fiercely.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "It's… it's been a really long time." Alina giggled, but he could tell that there was no judgment coming from her at all.

"Shh. That was amazing. It's been ages for me too," she replied.

"Hard to tell, considering the amount of skill you have with your mouth. It took everything I had not to cum right then and there."

"Some things aren't easily forgotten. I'm sure you could make me feel pretty amazing with your mouth." Forcing some bravery back into his body, Bones moved down on the bed closer to her still-wet pussy.

"Let's see about that," he said, pushing two of his fingers inside of her, instantly earning a gasp of pleasure from her. He lowered his head and ran his tongue in a circle around her clit before sucking on it and thrusting his fingers inside of her. She tasted floral somehow, an entirely different and entirely amazing taste from humans. He continued sucking and licking around and on her clit, rubbing her g-spot without mercy until he had her a writhing mess beneath him.

"Leonard," she whimpered, before he had her orgasming, her entire body tensing up. He didn't stop sucking her clit until he was sure her orgasm was over, wanting her to feel every second of it. He finally removed his fingers and moved up beside her, pulling her into his arms. Her cool skin felt incredible against his overheated skin.

"See, you haven't forgotten either," she said with a sleepy smile.

"I guess not. I also guess I'll just have to stay with you so I can keep practicing," he replied.

"I guess I can manage staying with you too. I desperately want to stay here in your arms, but soon we really should get back to Jim, I think," Alina said with a twinge of sadness in her voice. Bones knew she was right, so he gave her a tight squeeze before letting go of her and gathering their clothes they had thrown haphazardly around the apartment. They dressed quickly, Bones hating to see her covering a single inch of her incredible body, before hailing a cab and heading back to Jim's apartment.

"He won't let us hear the end of this, I hope you know," Bones said on the way there. Alina smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't mind. I like Jim. Besides, I can handle him," she replied.

"As long as I'm the only one you handle like you did earlier," Bones said, jealousy darkening his voice slightly, to which Alina laughed.

"Darling, you're the only one I want to handle like that."

* * *

At Spock's apartment, he knew he should be asleep for his early flight to New Vulcan, but his nerves wouldn't allow him the reprieve that sleep would give. He knew full well that he had overreacted completely, but he couldn't quell the anger he felt. Why was he so furious at his Captain for withholding information from Doctor McCoy? Yes, he had lied, but it certainly didn't warrant such a furious reaction, did it? Of course not. Deep down, Spock knew the answer, but a large part of him hoped his trip would silence it. Love was… illogical. That's what he had been raised to believe. Yes, his father had admitted his love for his mother, but he was only one Vulcan. But Spock was not just Vulcan. He was human as well. And he knew that his human side would not allow his love for Jim to fade away so easily. He also knew that if he were to really be honest with himself, he didn't want it to fade away.

He picked up his communicator to call Jim, having no idea what he would say, but he set it back down with a shuddering sigh. No, he would go to New Vulcan. If this love that he felt for Jim and that he suspected Jim felt for him were real, it would survive the two being apart for less than a year. And Spock knew it would do him good to see his father and his elder counterpart as well. He forced himself to meditate, knowing that the deep meditation would at least provide some rest, even if it were not as complete as that provided from sleep. He promised himself that he would contact Jim after two weeks on New Vulcan, and that he would tell him the truth of how he felt. He was deeply in love with Jim, and had been from the moment he met him, even if his smug arrogance infuriated him. In fact, he was sure it was exactly that smug arrogance that had attracted him in the first place, though that realization was quieted quickly by his consciousness. Why did emotions have to be so complicated?


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh, I've finally updated it! I'm so sorry this update took so long to post. I'm a college student about to graduate, and I'm currently studying to take the MCAT for the second time, so I just haven't had the energy to really write a lot. But the next chapter is in the works, so hopefully it won't take so long to update the next chapter!**

 **As always, please review. It really does help. xx - Rabbit**

* * *

Alina and Bones arrived back at Jim's apartment, both thoroughly exhausted from their passionate lovemaking they had earlier. It took every ounce of self-control they both had not to take each other again both before they left, and in the taxi there, but they both knew that Jim needed comfort far more than they needed sex. Jim opened the door with a weak smile, as he was still incredibly depressed but happy for his best friend.

 _I wonder if I should high five him or not,_ Jim thought absently. Alina grinned at him.

"You should," she replied to his thoughts. "He's very talented with his tongue." Bones's face turned red almost immediately, but he gave Jim the high five anyway.

"You're both probably tired," Jim said. "I put new sheets on my bed so you two can sleep there and I'll take the couch."

"No way, Jim. Alina and I can stay in here no problem."

"Leonard. Let's take him up on his offer," Alina said gently, but her tone made it clear it wasn't a suggestion. Jim sighed in relief as Alina took Bones's duffel bag and put it in Jim's room. He followed her in confusion.

"Why are we taking his bed? He only offered to be polite." Alina shook her head.

"He offered because it smells like Spock. It's too painful for him to sleep in here right now. I heard him thinking that. He's hoping we'll cover it up with how we smell." Bones nodded in understanding.

"I'm so damn glad I have you," he said. Alina smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Bones thought he saw a twinge of sadness in her eyes, but he couldn't be sure. Alina walked back into the main room, Bones trailing behind her again.

"Do you need anything before bed, Jim?" Alina asked.

"No, I think I'll be okay. You two get some sleep. Or not. Just try not to make too much noise if you decide to get frisky again," Jim replied with a wink, making Bones blush again. Alina giggled, pulling Bones back into the bedroom.

"G'night, Jimbo," he called into the living room.

"Goodnight," Jim replied. He curled up on the couch and fell into a fitful sleep, still exhausted from the depression threatening to drown him. In his room, Alina and Bones were both lying on their sides and looking into each other's eyes. Bones noticed that Alina's green eyes almost glowed in the dark, and she looked ethereal as ever. He couldn't resist moving closer to her and kissing her, never wanting to stop. She kissed him back just as passionately, gently tangling her slender fingers in his short hair. Her taste was almost intoxicating, and the delicious cool of her skin made Bones shudder in pleasure.

"I feel like I've known you forever," he whispered against her lips. He felt her lips tug into a smile and she kissed him again before nestling her head in the crook of his neck. He heard her breathing slow and deepen before long, and he fell asleep soon after as well.

* * *

Far away on New Vulcan, Spock's father heard his communicator beeping. He opened it to see a video call from Spock incoming. He glanced at his multi-planet clock and saw that it was early morning on Earth. He knew his son would be en route to New Vulcan soon, and he was confused why Spock would be contacting him.

"It pleases me to see you, Spock," Sarek said tonelessly.

"The feeling is mutual, father," Spock said equally tonelessly. Still, Sarek sensed that Spock was holding back.

"Something troubles you, my son," he said.

"It is… nothing of importance, father."

"Why is it you have called, then?" Spock sighed, knowing he had no other reason to call.

"In truth, I am very troubled at present," he said.

"What is it that upsets you?" Sarek asked.

"The Captain and I had a rather pointed disagreement. I was to care for him while he recovered, but after our disagreement I left and scheduled my trip to New Vulcan, as I'm sure you know." Sarek nodded. "I do not believe I was angry with the Captain for a valid reason. I believe I was angry with him because I…" Spock trailed off.

"Your mother would wish for you to speak your feelings, Spock," Sarek said quietly. "I wish for you to speak them as well." Spock looked into the communicator camera again, and Sarek saw the pain Spock was feeling. He wished that he could take the pain away from his only son, but he knew Spock's feelings were something he would have to deal with on his own.

"I am in love with Jim Kirk," Spock whispered, looking away. Sarek did not react, and Spock irrationally feared that he would be upset with him.

"Does he feel the same as you do?" Sarek finally asked.

"I am unsure," Spock replied.

"Perhaps you should tell him how you are feeling."

"I plan to. But I will tell him once I have arrived at New Vulcan. If Jim and I do feel love for each other, it will survive less than a year apart. I feel that time spent among my people will be beneficial for my emotional state."

"If that is what you feel is wise, then I support your decision. I will see you when you arrive. Live long and prosper, my son," Sarek said.

"Live long and prosper, father," Spock replied, both Vulcans holding up the Vulcan salute before Spock ended the call. As soon as the screen went dark, Spock released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. So his father supported him. He knew he shouldn't be surprised. His father had always been understanding, after all. Feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, Spock called for a taxi and gathered his suitcases for his long trip to New Vulcan. The drive seemed shorter than usual, and Spock wasted no time getting checked in to the shuttle bay. Once he had settled into one of the chairs awaiting the call to board the ship, he was able to spend time assessing his surroundings.

His fellow passengers were fairly unremarkable, but a group of six men and a female did catch his eye. The girl had deep grey skin and narrow eyes looking around nervously. She had a long tail that twitched in agitation, and although the men she was with appeared much calmer, Spock was able to see subtle signs of nervousness in them too. All six men were human, and had scowls firmly locked onto their faces. He couldn't tell what it was, but something about the group gave Spock a thoroughly unsettled feeling. The female glanced over and quickly got the attention of her companions when she saw Spock. He saw her whispering to them, and saw them nod in response, which served to add to the discomfort growing in Spock's gut. His attention was diverted by a voice announcing over the speaker system that his shuttle was boarding, and to his dismay, the group that had been eyeing him was boarding the same shuttle.

With a steadying breath, Spock gathered up his jacket and carry-on bag and calmly walked up to the entrance to the shuttle, his exterior belying none of his nerves. After he had presented his ticket to the attendant at the gate, he walked into the shuttle and chose a seat in the corner where he could monitor as many of the other passengers as possible. In the other seats around the shuttle, Spock saw several families of different races, as well as single passengers. The group from earlier walked in, and Spock noticed immediately that the female was even more agitated, and it had become painfully obvious. She sat across from Spock and eyed him venomously, and her companions sat beside Spock. They didn't speak, and neither did Spock, although the sinking feeling in his gut was growing large by the second.

The shuttle took off after all passengers had boarded, and he heard the captain announce they were about to enter warp speed. Once they had and the passengers were allowed to walk around, one of the men in the group stood and walked out of the room they were in.

"You are Vulcan," the female said, her voice deep and thick with an accent.

"That is correct," Spock replied, his voice as monotone as ever.

"You know science," she said, more of a question than a statement but worded as the latter.

"Why is it that you ask?" Spock replied.

"No reason. I think many questions," she said with a shrug, but Spock noticed the sly grin that she flashed at her companions. The lights in the passenger area suddenly began flashing red, and the female and the men all stood. A voice different from the captain's came over the speakers.

"Hello, everyone. This is not your captain speaking. In fact, I can't see him speaking ever again. I'm sorry to ruin your day like this, but we need this ship more than you all do. Seela, boys, go ahead." The female, apparently named Seela, and the other men all exchanged wicked smiles before unceremoniously walking up to each passenger and killing them with modified phasers they had tucked into their pants. Spock felt close to vomiting as he watched Seela pull a young girl no older than six from her mother's arms and shoot her in the head. She handed the corpse of the child back to her now-sobbing mother before killing her as well. Despite being highly skilled in combat and possessing great strength, Spock knew he could do nothing as the five remaining men surrounded him. Their phasers were all aimed at his head, and he knew he was very close to death.

"Since you are man of science," Seela began, striding towards him. "You will help us. You help us without fight, we may let you live. You cause us problem, we kill you. Good? Good. Now sit. We have many hours journey to planet."

"What planet is it you are speaking of?" Spock said, allowing a small amount of the raw hatred he felt seep into his voice.

"That is of no concern to you, Vulcan. All that is of concern to you is doing what you are told," Seela replied. "Now, it is time for you to sleep." Before Spock could even react, she had set her phaser to stun and pulled the trigger, and Spock's world went black.

When he awoke, Spock found that he had a throbbing headache and he felt woozy and weak. He struggled to sit up, and was promptly met with another phaser aimed at his head.

"We are at first planet. We switch to different ship now and leave this one," Seela told him.

"Why are we changing ships?" Spock asked.

"Starfleet ships easy to track. Warp speed leave big trail. We switch to small ship without warp speed. Much harder to find," Seela replied, nodding to the men on either side of Spock who hauled him to his feet none too kindly. The thug piloting the ship docked the two ships together so that the he and the others could cross into the smaller ship. Once they were safely inside, they were met by three other men and two women, both of the same species as Seela who wasted no time in shackling Spock to the wall where the other ends of his chains had been welded. The Starfleet ship was set adrift, and Spock and his captors began journeying to the next rendezvous point. It took every ounce of self-control that Spock had not to panic, and he found he was desperately wishing he could see Jim, knowing it might be the last time.

* * *

Several hours later back on Earth, Uhura received a transmission that a Starfleet passenger vessel had been found in a nearby star system and that it appeared all passengers had been killed. She was told that a Starfleet Commander had been aboard but that his body had not been recovered. To her own amazement, Uhura managed to keep her composure until she was done speaking with the officer delivering the transmission to her. As soon as she ended the call, however, she let out a choked sob.

She reported the transmission and immediately called Montgomery Scott, not knowing who else to turn to.

"Scotty, Spock got on board a ship to New Vulcan that was hijacked. Everyone on board was slaughtered. They didn't find his body, but oh god, what if they killed him?" she sobbed into the communicator.

"Now, calm down, lassy," Scotty said as gently as he could. "Ye cannae know if they killed him or not, so there's no use cryin' just yet. Have ye told Jim?"

"No, and I don't think I can. That's why I called you. Can you please go tell him for me?"

"I'll go do that now. And after that, I'm comin' to see ye. Ah don't think you should be alone right now," Scotty replied.

"You're probably right," Uhura relented before saying goodbye to Scotty and curling up on her couch, crying into her pillow.

Scotty arrived at Jim's apartment as quickly as he could, and he banged relentlessly on the door until Jim opened it.

"Jesus, Scotty, what is it? Someone die or something?" Jim said.

"Ah need to talk to ye, Jim. It cannae wait," Scotty said. Jim sobered up quickly when he heard the seriousness in Scotty's voice, and he stepped aside to allow the engineer in. Bones and Alina were sitting on the couch, and looked in confusion at Scotty. Not long after, though, Alina let out a gasp from the thoughts she had heard Scotty thinking.

"Scotty, this is Alina Sinda. She's working under Bones now. She's telepathic. Alina, this is our chief engineer, Montgomery Scott. We call him Scotty. Now, introductions over. What's going on?" Jim said. Scotty sat down on the ottoman near the couch and put his head in his hands.

"Jim, the ship that… the ship that Spock was on was… well, the bloody thing was hijacked," Scotty said, his voice strained. "Everyone on board was killed. It was a goddamned massacre." Jim paled and slumped down on the couch beside Bones.

"Now, before ye go assuming, they didn't find Spock's body, and there weren't any traces of Vulcan blood found. We cannae assume he was killed just yet," Scotty said. Jim was staring blankly at the wall, tears forming in his eyes.

"Don't think like that," Alina said quietly, reading Jim's thoughts. "You had no way of knowing this would happen. Neither of you can blame yourselves for what you said to each other before he left. You couldn't have known."

"He'll probably be killed. And the last thing I told him was that I didn't need him. He'll die thinking I didn't need him."

"Ah don't think ah understand," Scotty said in confusion.

"Jim and Spock had a fight. That's why Spock decided to leave early," Bones told him. Scotty nodded slowly, understanding beginning to dawn on him.

"Jim, this doesn't mean he's gone. Starfleet already has patrols out lookin' for him. If he's out there, we'll find him," Scotty said. Jim's face darkened.

"You're goddamn right we will. Because we're going to go get him."


	11. Chapter 11

**Oh, you all, I am so sorry for taking ages to update this. As I mentioned in the note on the last chapter, I had finals for university, as well as the MCAT exam. The next chapter shouldn't take so long to update. As always, please review! Your reviews keep me going with this story! xx - Rabbit**

 **And a quick note - there is a somewhat graphic scene involving blood near the end. I've added a warning above and below it in case you want to skip that.**

* * *

Bones was pacing Jim's apartment, frustration evident on his face.

"How are we going to find him?" he asked suddenly. "They can't have been stupid enough to stay on the Starfleet ship they hijacked. It's too easily traceable."

"He's right, laddy," Scotty said to Jim. "Even if we got to where the ship is, what then? They're likely long gone by now."

"I don't know, but it's a start, and we'll be a hell of a lot closer to finding him there than if we stay here," Jim replied.

"But where would we even get a ship?" Alina asked.

"Ah might know of a wee ship we could use, but it's no guarantee," Scotty said nervously. "It's not in the best condition, but it's got warp and it'll get us there and back in one piece… Probably."

"Get it ready. Anyone who's coming with me, go get your stuff. How long until we can leave, Scotty?" Jim asked.

"Ah'll have to make some calls, but Keenser and I could probably have it ready to go in three days tops."

"Do it. The faster the better."

"Right then. Ah'll go get on that now and get this thing rolling. Try to stay calm, Jim. Spock is bloody smart. If anyone can get through this, it's him."

"Thanks, Scotty," Jim said, clapping him on the shoulder as he left the apartment. Alina quietly moved into the kitchen and opened the cabinet she heard Jim thinking of to find the rum and shot glasses she knew would be inside. After pouring three shots, she handed one to Bones and Jim, quickly tipping back her own.

"You know it's barely past noon, right?" Bones asked.

"Yup," Alina replied. "But sometimes you just need a shot or two. I think this is one of those times." Finding no fault with her statement, Bones and Jim swallowed down their rum as well. Jim sank back down onto the couch with his head in his hands and Alina instinctively sat beside him. Bones caught himself feeling an overwhelming sense of awe at her instinct to help others in addition to her telepathy.

"Jim, I know it feels impossible, but you have to try to stay calm. That's the best thing we can all do for Spock right now. He needs us to stay calm so we can be an effective team and find him. Do you need a sedative to help you relax?" she asked. Jim began to protest, but knew lying was pointless with a telepath.

"I think that's probably best," he admitted weakly. Alina glanced up at Bones who immediately reached into his medical pack and pulled out a hypo filled with a mild sedative. To Jim's surprise, Bones kneeled down in front of him and put one hand on the back of Jim's neck, looking into his eyes.

"We're gonna find him, Jim. He'll be okay," Bones said. Jim nodded and held out his arm. As gently as Bones could manage, he injected the sedative and saw Jim relax almost immediately.

"What if he doesn't love me back?" Jim whispered. In an uncharacteristically gentle moment, Bones sat down beside Jim and pulled him against him, his arm loosely around Jim's shoulders. Jim rested his head on the shoulder of the man who was practically his brother.

"He loves you so goddamn much, Jim. I'll be honest with you. I didn't think he did at first. Hell, I thought the man hated you, even after what happened with Nero and the Narada. But when I saw the way he wouldn't leave your side the instant we got you out of that compartment even though we thought you were dead, I knew he cared about you something fierce. Took me a while, but I finally see that he's loved you for a long time. It shows in everything he does for you." Jim felt his eyes watering, and Alina quickly sat on his other side and together, she and Bones hugged Jim and let him release the flood of tears he'd been keeping locked up.

* * *

In his shackles on the stolen ship of his captors, Spock was deep in meditation. It was the only thing keeping him calm. Even so, his meditative thoughts were filled with images of his Captain. His Jim. He desperately wished he hadn't clung to tightly to logic and that he had just told Jim that he loved him so infinitely much. _Damn logic to the deepest recesses of Hell._ He thought briefly. He almost felt a smile tug at his lips. Perhaps Jim had rubbed off on him more than he wanted to admit.

"Vulcan!" Seela bellowed, snapping him back to reality. He glared at her from under his lashes. "Nanta will unlock chains. You will come and fix transmitter so we can contact others working with us.

"And if I refuse?" Spock asked. Seela responded by switching her phaser to kill and aiming it at his head.

"I pull trigger," she said with a casual shrug.

"No, I do not believe you will. You would not have taken me had you not a great need for me," Spock replied. Seela smiled and leaned down, phaser still aimed.

"If you will not help us, might as well not be here. No reason to keep you alive," she sneered, and Spock knew she was serious. With a barely audible exhale of frustration, Spock stood and turned to allow one of the other thugs, named Nanta, to unlock his shackles from the wall before locking them together so that he could not use his arms. Seela positioned herself behind Spock and nudged the back of his head with the phaser to indicate that he was to walk forward.

"This ship is in a severe state of disrepair. If any of the undoubtedly multiple Starfleet ships looking for me find this vessel, you will stand no chance of escape," Spock said as he was forced into the communications area of the small ship.

"That is why we need transmitter to be fixed. We contact friends on bigger ship. It is commercial ship. We will travel in cargo hold to planet we seek," Seela said. Spock was forced to sit in a rather uncomfortable chair with the broken transmitter in front of him, and Nanta shackled his feet to the grated floor.

"Fix. I must go back to Captain. Tell Nanta things you need to fix transmitter and he get them for you," Seela said, before turning sharply and exiting the room. Spock looked up at Nanta, a massive bald brute with almost lilac skin. Nanta tapped on the phaser strapped to his belt to indicate that Spock was to begin his work quickly, to which Spock had no choice but to obey. He began looking into the inside of the transmitter in a desperate attempt to find the fault. While he was certainly proficient at fixing electronic devices, he found himself wishing Scotty were there. The engineer would have had no trouble whatsoever, he was sure. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Spock allowed the cold shell of logic to surround him, and he was able to piece together a list of parts that he needed. Nanta grunted his acknowledgement and left the room to get the parts.

As soon as Nanta was gone, Spock's deft fingers began a furious race with the wiring inside the transmitter. He hadn't lied. Not really, at least. He really did need the parts he had listed off in order to get the transmitter working to its full capacity. But he believed with a bit of luck, he just might be able to get it working enough to send a coded transmission to Jim. Nervous sweat was beginning to bead up on Spock's forehead, but he continued until he saw the precious little green light indicating his efforts had worked. As quickly as he could manage, Spock sent out a coded transmission to Jim's personal communications line.

 _Captain, I am alive and en route to unknown destination. We will be switching to a commercial vessel and stowing away to unknown planet. Yours, Spock._

No sooner had Spock sent the transmission, he heard a large set of footsteps behind him.

"Who you think you're sendin' messages to?" Nanta said, his voice a deep rumble. "You think I'm stupid enough to just leave without keepin' an eye on you?" Spock turned in his chair, refusing to show an ounce of fear, despite feeling quite a lot of it.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. You appear to be marginally more intelligent than I had suspected," he said coolly.

"Why you little-" Nanta bellowed, lunging forward.

"Stop!" Spock heard Seela yell, and Nanta froze. "Vulcan is sending messages to friends? No matter. If transmitter work, tell Adin to come. We switch to big ship. Doctor can play with Vulcan insides since Vulcan is misbehaving. Put him to sleep now." Spock looked up at Nanta just before the brute's fist collided with Spock's temple, and his world exploded into stars before going black.

When Spock awoke, he was strapped down on a metal table, stripped down to only his pants. He pulled at his restraints, but unsurprisingly, they wouldn't give.

"Do you have a name?" a silky baritone voice said from behind him. In front of him, Spock saw Seela emerge from the darkness.

"Vulcan won't talk," she said, striding up to him. "But doctor can make him scream." Seela bent down low and sneered at Spock. In a moment of rage, Spock crashed his head against her face, hearing the beautiful sound of the tissue of her lips splitting from the force with which they were shoved into her teeth, and the crunch of her nose breaking. Blue blood began streaming down her face immediately, and Seela pulled out her phaser. She lowered it after a moment, though, and took a deep breath. Wiping the blood from her nose and mouth, Seela cracked her neck and smiled.

"Doctor here will make you pay for that, Vulcan," she said, leaving the small area of light that Spock could see in. The doctor finally approached Spock on his right. He was a tall, lithe man, his skin a deep green. He had black hair slicked back and braided, and he wore a lab coat over all black clothing.

"Do you know what vivisection is, my Vulcan friend?"

"It is the dissection of live creatures," Spock replied. The doctor chuckled.

"You are correct. I've always wanted to try it. It was abolished centuries ago, you know. I've done it on many lesser forms of life. Cost me my license when I was caught. But I've always been itching to see the inside of a Vulcan. Really get in and play. And play I shall. Now, are you sure you don't want to tell me your name? Your body will be unidentifiable when I'm through with you. Could be nice for whomever finds you to be able to know who you were." Spock stared upwards at the lights above him, his jaw clamped shut.

"No? Very well. Have it your way," the doctor said, reaching to a small table just behind Spock's head for a scalpel. "We'll start off slow, shall we?" Spock caught the gleam of the rusting scalpel.

 **If you're bothered by gore, skip this next paragraph!**

"I always have been fascinated by the vast amount of strength you Vulcans possess," the doctor said before sinking the blade deep into Spock's bicep and making a 6-inch incision. He then added a V shape to both ends of the incision so that he could slowly peel the skin back to expose the striated muscle beneath. The smell of copper hit Spock's nose as his green blood began dripping onto the metal table beneath him. The pain was excruciating, but somehow Spock managed to keep his composure. He refused to give the doctor the satisfaction of seeing him suffer.

 **Gore scene over!**

Spock had a feeling his suffering had only just begun.

* * *

Back on Earth, Bones was at his apartment packing for the search for Spock. Alina had already packed and was sitting on his couch in deep thought, trying to think of anything she could do to help, when she heard a loud and incessant knocking on the apartment door. She heard Jim's frantic thoughts and ran to open the door. Bones ran into the living room as Jim flew through the door.

"Spock's alive," he breathed, showing Bones the communicator. "He got a coded transmission through." Alina glanced at the message.

"Jim, tell Lieutenant Uhura to begin a search for all commercial shipping vessels in the region the hijacked ship was found," she said. Jim nodded and began furiously typing on his communicator.

"Alina, that's a trade region," Bones said sadly. "There's bound to be hundreds of ships coming and going. There's no way to know which one Spock is on."

"You have any better ideas? We know they're going to a planet. That should help a little. Some of the ships are probably heading to different space stations. It's not much, but it's the best we've got, Leonard," Alina replied.

 _Searching now,_ Came Uhura's response to Jim's message.

 _Narrow the search to ships going to planets._ Jim sent.

 _Yes, Captain,_ Uhura replied. An agonizing fifteen minutes later, Uhura called Jim.

"Find anything?" Jim asked frantically.

"Yes, but it's not much. There are six ships en route to planets. The one nearest its destination is four days out from the planet it's headed too. The rest are anywhere from five days to six," Uhura replied. Jim could tell from the hoarsness in her voice that she'd been crying.

"Well, that's better than I thought you'd say. Six ships, six planets. One for you, me, Bones, Alina, Sulu, and Scotty. You up for it, Uhura?" Jim asked.

"You're goddamned right I am," Uhura replied, a steely edge in her voice.

"Pack your things. Scotty's got a ship we'll take in three days. I'll call Sulu. We'll head up to the docking station tonight and wait for Scotty to get the ship to us. Then we'll go find him."

"Yes, Sir. Uhura out." Jim ended the call and prepared to contact Sulu.

 _Don't worry, Spock._ He thought. _We're coming for you._


	12. Chapter 12

**Pretty excited about this chapter. Gonna go ahead and say though that the beginning part of this has some fairly graphic gore. I've put a bolded "-end gore-" note after it though in case you want to skip that. Again, I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I don't want to just force myself to write something and post a chapter that I don't feel is any good. That's not fair to you, my darling readers.**

 **Also, I want to just add here, since this is a Star Trek fanfic based on the 2009 characters, that I am deeply saddened to hear about Anton Yelchin's untimely death. He was far too young. May he sleep well.**

 **And with that, enjoy the chapter. As always, please,** ** _please_** **review!**

* * *

Spock lay still as death upon the table he was strapped down to, deep in meditation. His trance was blocking out nearly all of the searing pain from the two large incisions on his bicep and forearm. The doctor had taken his time exposing the tendons in Spock's forearm, tugging in delight at them to force Spock's fingers to move. It had been agony, but still Spock showed no sign of pain. He had cut into Spock's left clavicle and decided to use a bone saw to cut the underlying collarbone in an experiment to determine if Vulcan's had denser bones than he expected. Spock knew the doctor was ensuring that his torture wasn't lethal, wanting to drag out his vivisection as long as he could. Still, nothing was being done to sterilize the skin or the tools, and Spock was sure infection would set in soon, if it hadn't already.

"Day two," Spock heard the doctor say, ripping him out of his meditation. His controls were slipping marginally, and while they were still strong enough to keep the pain at bay, Spock felt a surge of fear at the thought that he might lose his ability to meditate.

"Are you ready to tell me your name yet, my Vulcan friend?" The doctor asked.

"Forgive me, but I do not consider you a friend in any sense of the word," Spock replied, his voice far calmer than he felt.

"Even in agony, you maintain a scathing politeness. Amazing. Simply amazing," the doctor said, his voice giddy like a child on Christmas. "Well, my friend, today I plan to look at the muscles in those strong thighs of yours. Tomorrow, your abdomen. I am so curious what organs you have hiding under there!"

"Vulcan anatomy is hardly a secret," Spock spat.

"Oh, this is true, but seeing pictures on a screen hardly compares to the real thing. And watching how your muscles and organs react as their host remains awake and fully conscious? It is positively delicious." Spock stared at the bright lights above him, and for the first time in his life, he felt himself wishing it would all end. As soon as he heard the scraping of metal on metal signaling the doctor was selecting his tools, Spock forced himself as deep as he possibly could into meditation. He was vaguely aware of his pants being cut off, leaving him in only his black boxer briefs, which the doctor thankfully left alone. Even in his trance, Spock felt the deep cutting and ripping of the skin on the top of his right thigh with the doctor's dull scalpel. The cut must have gone from the very top of his thigh down to his knee, and he felt the doctor merrily feeling the striated muscles. He even thought he felt low voltage electricity being run through his muscles, causing his leg to twitch and spasm.

Spock's meditation was failing, he realized with horror. In a last ditch attempt to maintain control over his mind, he focused every shred of conscious control he had on Jim. His Captain. His friend. He knew that Jim would be doing everything in his power to rescue him, and he knew that Jim would be reacting to the situation with a dangerously desperate sense of humour. With a slight feeling of surprise, Spock felt himself wishing he could feel Jim's arms around him, feel his arms around Jim, just feeling the touch of his Captain was all he wanted.

 _Please save me, Jim,_ Spock thought before he lost consciousness from the pain.

 **\- end gore -**

* * *

"Let's go," Jim said, his voice steeled with determination. His closest friends were all packed and in their street clothes to ensure they weren't recognized as Starfleet officers. They boarded the small ship Scotty had procured for them and strapped into their seats, Jim at the helm with Sulu. Night was falling, much to Jim's annoyance. He had hoped they would leave at first light, but Scotty told him the ship just wasn't ready and wouldn't be safe until further repairs had been made.

"You sure you can fly this thing?" he asked his pilot once they were ready to take off.

"I can fly it fine," Sulu replied. "That's not what I'm worried about. This ship is in bad shape, Captain. I'm just hoping we make it there and back in one piece, frankly."

"It'll make it," Jim said, but he wasn't sure if he was reassuring Sulu or himself. "Take us outta here. Max warp."

"Aye, Sir," Sulu said, and they were off. Scotty was buzzing about the ship, making sure that nothing he could see was out of order, and once he was satisfied, he went over to where Uhura was sitting and sat beside her.

"How are ye, lassy?" he asked her. She smiled humourously.

"I've been better," she replied.

"Ah can imagine so. Listen, Uhura, we're gonna find him. Et's like Ah told Jim – Spock is a bloody smart man. He can get through this. But we cannae give up before we've even started. Ah'm… well, frankly, ah'm worried ye've already given up." Uhura stared at Scotty now, and Scotty realized just how beautiful she really was. His breath caught in his throat.

"He must be feeling so alone right now," she said, her voice small. Scotty saw tears beginning to mist over her eyes, and before he could talk himself out of it, he put an arm around her and pulled her head to his chest. Uhura immediately curled up against him, the tears flowing freely now. "First, I break up with him. Then, he and Jim have a fight, and now he's a hostage. He probably thinks we're just going to leave him to die."

"Ye know that's not true. Spock is way too logical to think that. He knows we all care about him. He'd have to be plain stupid to think we're not coming for him," Scotty said, gently rubbing small circles on her shoulder with his thumb. Bones and Alina glanced up in surprise at Scotty holding Uhura, but Alina gave him a weak smile before turning back to Bones.

"How's Jim doing?" Bones asked Alina as they were going through the medical packs they'd brought just in case.

"He's a mess," she said. "So is she. And so are you. I'm not much better, if I'm being honest. I think the only one doing alright is Sulu, and that's just because he's freaked out by this old ship and focusing all he's got on flying so he doesn't panic." Alina motioned to Uhura and then stared hard at Bones.

"I guess I am," Bones replied. "I just care about that stupid kid. Jim's as good as my brother."

"I know. I just hope this all works out," Alina said.

"I thought Thynestrians had like, future predicting abilities?"

"A few do, but it's really rare, and only the full blooded ones ever have it. They're the advisors to the royal family. I definitely don't have it. Wish I did." Bones sat back against the wall after zipping up the pack he was looking through.

"I wish a lot of things," he said. Alina smiled sadly.

"So do I. But wishing doesn't change anything. Action does. And we're doing all we can. That's what matters," Alina replied, standing and walking to the helm. She put her hand on Sulu's right shoulder and Jim's left and leaned forward.

"How long will it take us to get there?" she asked. Jim noticed Sulu blush and become flustered when he smelled the thick jasmine of her perfume as she leaned towards them.

"Oh, uhm, about… two days," he stuttered. Alina smiled in amusement.

"That long, huh?" she asked.

"It's far, even at max warp," Jim said. Alina squeezed his shoulder tightly, silently acknowledging his fears. Jim placed his hand on top of hers and gave it a quick squeeze in wordless thanks before she walked back and sat perpendicular to Bones, her legs across his lap.

"You okay there, Sulu?" Jim asked.

"Aye, Captain," Sulu replied. "She's just… very pretty." Jim chuckled despite himself.

"It's Jim, Sulu. We're not on duty. Oh, and you might want to be careful. Bones isn't the sharing type, if you know what I mean." Sulu smiled and nodded, focusing on flying the shuttle again.

"You should get some sleep soon, Jim. If these guys are as dangerous as you're saying, you'll need your rest. We all will."

"I'm sure you're right, but I doubt I'd be able to get much sleep. I'll take your shift when you're ready to sleep," Jim replied. Sulu turned to face him, looking uncertain.

"What is it?" Jim asked him. Sulu exhaled a nervous sigh.

"Look, I know it's not my place, but… for what it's worth, I think Spock feels the same way about you as you do about him." Jim blanched, not realizing his feelings were so obvious. "Don't worry," Sulu added quickly. "I won't tell anyone. I've just had my suspicions for a while. Uhura told me what happened."

"Ah. You must think I'm such an asshole then," Jim said, looking away.

"Not at all. None of us do. Not even Uhura herself. You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did Spock. No one can help how they feel. Uhura's an adult. She asked Spock for the truth and he told her. She knows he would never do anything to purposely hurt her. She doesn't blame you. In fact, I think she's glad it's you. At least she knows you're a good man. When you love someone, you just want them to be happy, you know?"

"Thanks, Sulu," Jim said, clapping him on the shoulder. "That means a lot." Jim stood to walk over to Bones and Alina, and he was surprised to see that Uhura had fallen asleep curled up against Scotty. Scotty saw his shocked look and shrugged with a small smile before going back to gently rocking Uhura to keep her asleep.

"Ah think she needs the sleep," he whispered. "Ah doubt she's gotten a wink of it since all this." Jim nodded, crossing the small area and sitting beside Bones.

"Thank you for coming," he said.

"You kidding? I couldn't let your suicidal ass go on a mission to save Spock from god knows how many psycho thugs alone. None of us could," Bones replied.

"I'm putting all of you in danger because I can't just stand by and wait for Starfleet to get through their bureaucratic bullshit before they start looking for him. Hell, for all I know we could be way in over our heads and going straight to our deaths." Bones could tell the despair was getting to Jim, and he pulled out a sedative hypo.

"We're not stupid, Jim. We know what we signed up for. That's what friends do. We protect our own, and Spock is one of us. We aren't just doing this for you. We're doing this for him, too. Now, you need to get some sleep," Bones said, jabbing the hypo in Jim's thigh before he could object.

"Fucking shit, Bones," Jim said, rubbing his leg. "Why'd you do th-" he began before sleep overtook him.

"We should get him in a bed," Alina said, standing and lifting Jim's feet. "Help me, will you?" Bones stood as well and hooked his arms under Jim's, and together he and Alina were able to carry Jim into the small sleeping quarters on the ship and put him in one of the bottom bunks.

"I think I'll stay in here and keep an eye on him," Bones said. "I think the less he's alone the better." Alina nodded before giving Bones a quick kiss and leaving the sleeping quarters.

"Do ye think I should put Uhura in bed?" Scotty asked when Alina.

"I don't think so," Alina said. "I think you're what she needs right now." Scotty seemed unsure of himself, but contented himself to continue holding her. Alina walked to the helm and sat in the chair beside Sulu, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"I've always loved space travel," she said. "Not sure why. I'm Alina Sinda, by the way." Alina put her hand out and shook Sulu's.

"Hikaru Sulu. It's nice to meet you, Alina. Space sure is nice. I love how much there is that's never been explored. You're from Thynestria, right?"

"That's right. Have you ever been there?"

"Once," Sulu replied. "When I was younger. I went with a friend who had some business there. I thought it was amazing. Kinda weird, though. I wasn't expecting it to be so quiet." Alina laughed.

"Yeah, that tends to happen on a planet of telepaths. Not much reason to speak when you can hear everyone's thoughts."

"I think I actually gave someone there laryngitis from having to answer all my questions," Sulu admitted with an embarrassed chuckle. Alina laughed again before feeling her mood turn somber.

"You nervous?" she asked quietly. Sulu glanced at her for a moment before nodding.

"A little. I just hope we're not too late. I've heard this is the fifth federation ship that's been hijacked by these people in the past three years. Always small ships, usually not many passengers, but still. These guys need to be taken down."

"I wonder why they're doing this," Alina mumbled, more to herself than Sulu.

"I want to know how they keep getting away with it. It's not easy to hijack something from Starfleet and manage to escape, but they've done it five times," Sulu replied. Alina felt a strange sickly feeling growing in her stomach, but she couldn't place it.

* * *

 **\- Mild gore warning! -**

Spock lay on the cold metal table, bleeding and bare apart from his underwear. The doctor hadn't cut any of his arteries yet, but he feared that day was approaching. The gashes the doctor had made had been stapled together again with staples that Spock saw rust on, and the incisions in his arm and collarbone had been sewn together with rusting wire pieces twisted together.

 **\- End of the gore scene -**

Spock was beginning to feel weak, but he wasn't sure if it was from blood loss or infection or both. Jim's name had become like a prayer on his lips, as it was the only thing keeping him remotely grounded. He clenched his jaw in agony, dreading the moment the doctor returned. At this rate, he knew he wouldn't survive much longer, and he began trying to formulate a plan to escape. The pain was clouding his thoughts, but that didn't stop him from trying to think of something, _anything_ that he could do.

Even if he did escape though, what then? He had no clothes, and he was sure it wouldn't take much straining at all to rip his stitches and staples, but he also knew that staying meant certain death if he wasn't rescued in time. He couldn't help but think of the song that he and Jim had danced to what seemed like eons ago.

 _You keep me alive_

 _On the edge of tonight_

 _Chasing tomorrow_

 _With fire in my eyes_

 _You're like a siren in the dark_

 _You're the beat playing in my heart_

 _You keep me alive_

 _On the edge of tonight_

Spock thought about how fitting that old song had become, because it was precisely his intense focus on Jim that was keeping him alive. Jim had become his siren in the dark, his heartbeat, his will to fight. His focus was beginning to return and he felt the white hot pain from his incisions fading to a sharp ache as he fell back into a mild trance. Maybe all hope had not been lost just yet.


	13. Chapter 13

**Oh, my, my, how long it's been. C'est la vie, unfortunately. I'll do my best to get the next chapter up in a timely manner. Rest assured, this story shall not be abandoned! As always, please, please review! Reviews truly are an author's lifeblood. xx - Rabbit**

* * *

Spock awoke with a start, and the instant burning in his incisions quickly informed him that something was not right.

"Ah, you're awake!" he heard the doctor merrily say from behind him.

"How lo-" Spock began to ask, but his voice was unbearably hoarse, his throat feeling parched and swollen and sore.

"You have been asleep for about sixteen hours. I was curious what a particular anaesthetic would do to your system. Apparently it is much more effective on Vulcans than other life forms. Do indulge me, please, my friend – who is Jim?" Spock felt a red hot flare of rage boil up inside of him.

"Do not soil his name with your tongue," he hissed.

"Oh ho!" the doctor bellowed. "This is someone very dear to you. A brother? No? A lover, perhaps? Now, that is something. I would so love to meet this Jim. James Kirk, I believe, in fact, if your delirious mutterings are anything to go on. I have Seela looking for him, as it were. Apparently you have friends in high places, Commander Spock. Yes, that's right. I do know your name now. And that makes this all the more delicious."

"If you wish to kill me, I do so wish you would get on with it," Spock spat.

"Now, where is the fun in that?" the doctor asked, lithely moving up to Spock's side and digging his scalpel into Spock's abdomen, slicing with a jagged cutting motion. The tang of copper drifted into the air as Spock's blood began to drip from the deep wound, and he couldn't help cry out in pain.

"You are failing," the doctor began, "in your control, my friend. Perhaps the infection I have allowed into your system is proving to be too great for you. Pity. I would so like you to last a bit longer. You'll be dead before long. And I'll have your James Kirk on my table next." Spock was sharply inhaling and exhaling, desperately trying to stave off the agony he felt, but to no avail. The doctor picked up a rusted needle threaded with tarnished wire and pierced it through the sides of the incision, roughly and poorly sewing up the wound. Spock cried out with each puncture, but the doctor ignored him, humming in delight. Finally, the doctor ran the end of a laser cauterizing tool over the wound to stint the bleeding, causing Spock to scream until he was breathless. The doctor put down his instruments and inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell of charred flesh with a chuckle.

"Rest well, my friend. I will return to complete my exploration of your abdomen soon," the doctor said before he turned and walked away, dropping the tray of tools to the metal floor with a clattering clang. So his captors knew Jim was looking for him. And now they were looking for Jim. They had the element of surprise. Spock knew the only way he would be able to help any of his fellow crew was to escape. But how? He gingerly tested his bonds again, his arm burning with the movement. A violent wave of nausea from the sheer agony flared up in Spock's chest, but he managed to keep himself composed enough to avoid vomiting.

As he was desperately trying to think of any way to escape, Spock heard the voice of Seela from the hallway outside of his room, as well as a strangely familiar voice.

"You are not paying us enough!" Seela bellowed. "We go to all this trouble, we risk our lives for your drug, and you pay us only smuggler wage!"

"That's because you _are_ smugglers," the deep bass voice replied with indignation. "Risks and low wages are something you should expect in your line of work."

"No! We are more than smugglers! We are secret keepers too. How you think your Starfleet would like to be knowing that you are drug addicted, hmm? I think they would find it very interesting, _Admiral._ " Seela hissed. Realization flooded Spock like a tidal waves. Admiral Vanhook. Spock recalled that he'd been briefly suspended once before for appearing to be under the influence of alcohol at a meeting, but as far as Spock knew, that was his only offense. So that was how Seela had been able to find out about Jim.

"What about that one?" Vanhook said, and Spock looked over to see the Admiral staring into the room from the windowed door.

"He will be dead soon," The Doctor replied from behind the Admiral. "The infection is spreading quickly, and Seela has sent out a false distress code to the Commander's crew. They will be heading into our trap soon, no doubt, but their precious Commander will already be dead. And you will remember our agreement that the crew will be my playthings, yes?"

"Fine, fine," the Admiral bellowed. "But none of this would have been necessary if you idiots wouldn't have taken the damn Vulcan to begin with!"

"Ship communications were broken!" Seela yelled back. "Vulcans know science. Without Vulcan, you wouldn't have your precious drug! Be careful how you speak to us, Admiral. You do not want to be making enemy of us. You say you have strong friends? Maybe Seela have strong friends too." The glimmer of an idea began to form in Spock's mind, but he dreaded the execution of it. He waited until the hallway had grown silent again once his captors had left to start steeling his mind and gaining every ounce of self-control he had left. This would be no easy task.

* * *

Jim roused from his sedative-induced sleep after nearly five hours to find Bones in the bunk opposite him, staring at the bottom of the bunk above him.

"I'm really starting to hate those things," Jim said, rubbing the sore spot in his leg.

"Yeah, but they're better than the old fashioned needles from the 21st century. You're gonna have to trust me on that one," Bones replied, sitting up. "How're you feeling?"

"I've got a headache from hell and I'm terrified that we're too late. So I'm great," Jim said sarcastically. Bones stared at him a moment before setting his resolve and moving to sit beside Jim, pulling him against him in a tight hug, Jim's head forced to rest on Bones's shoulder. Somehow, it was exactly what Jim needed. He hugged his best friend back, letting out a shuddering sigh.

"We're not too late," Bones said gently. "We're gonna find him, and we're gonna kill those sons of bitches that took him."

"Thanks, Bones," Jim whispered in reply. The two men stayed as they were in the comfortable silence only shared by true friends for some time before Alina burst in, breathless.

"We got a transmission from Spock. I don't know how the hell he sent it, but it gave his coordinates and said he's hurt, but he's alive!" Jim shot up from the bunk and took Alina by the shoulders.

"Did he say anything else?" he asked. Alina shook her head sadly. "I imagine he didn't have the time." Jim nodded numbly before walking to the main area of the ship and sitting down in the Captain's chair.

"We're four days away," he mumbled.

"Three and a half, Sir," Sulu responded with forced optimism. Jim looked up at Bones who he noticed was standing next to him.

"He'll make it," he said, clapping him on the shoulder. Alina entered the room several minutes later with a mug of steaming tea for Sulu, Bones, Jim, Scotty and herself. Uhura was still fast asleep in Scotty's arms, and no one had the heart to wake her.

"What is this?" Jim asked, smelling the tea.

"It's from Thynestria. It's an herb we have there called Orith. We have this saying, ' _Nir t'rinu Orith'a zoor hireem a'tha'nimi_.' It means, 'A drink of Orith with friends soothes all.' Probably because it's a mild sedative, but hey. It's good and it works." Jim gratefully took a sip of the amber-liquid and quickly felt the tension in his muscles ease.

"Pretty sure we all needed this," Sulu said appreciatively. Alina smiled, drinking her own Orith and feeling her tensions die down as well. She glanced over to where Scotty and Uhura had been to find them missing. Scotty reappeared a few minutes later, and Alina took the chance to sit with him while Bones stayed with Jim.

"How are you?" she asked. Scotty gave her a tired smile.

"Oh, Ah reckon' Ah'm alright," Scotty replied.

"How are you, really?" Alina asked, prodding gently. Scotty let out a soft chuckle.

"Ye really are something, aren't ye? I'm bloody terrified, if Ah'm bein' honest. Ah'm terrified of dying on some strange planet, yes, but Ah think I'm more terrified of being too late to save Spock. Ah don't know if Jim could handle losing him. Ah don't know if any of us could."

"It's like you told Uhura. Don't give up before we've even really started. How is she, by the way?"

"Couldn't ye get that from what she was thinking or what's she's dreaming?" Scotty asked.

"I try not to pry. I can usually ignore people's thoughts until they're just a dull buzz."

"She's having a rough go of it. She's doing well all things considered, Ah'd say."

"Seems like you two are getting pretty close," Alina said with one of her charming smiles.

"What? Oh! Oh, no. It's nothing like that. She's bloody brilliant and beautiful to boot, but… no, there's no way she'd ever go for a tosser like me."

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself," Alina said softly. "You're brilliant too, and you're not at all hard on the eyes, to be frank. Have a little confidence. You might just surprise yourself."

"Ye cannae tell me ye honestly think Ah'd ever stand a chance with her," Scotty scoffed. Alina smiled and leaned forward.

"I honestly think you'd stand a chance with her. If you put yourself out there," she replied. "I think I'll go get some sleep now." As Alina left Scotty to his thoughts, she kept silent about the fact that she could hear one very-awake Uhura's thoughts in the nearby sleeping quarters. She smiled at Uhura sitting near the door as she walked in.

"I had no idea he felt that way," Uhura said, her voice still hoarse from crying. "He never said anything."

"Of course he didn't," Alina replied. "He thinks you're too good for him and refuses to see what he's worth. Sounds a lot like Leonard, come to think of it."

"I don't know what to do," Uhura admitted.

"Don't rush yourself into anything. It's okay if you're still in love with Commander Spock. Take your time to heal. But Scotty does seem like a great guy, and I think the two of you would be good for each other. And I think talking to Scotty wouldn't be a bad idea either."

"I just want Spock to be happy. I do love him. So, so much. But… I know he'll never love me the way he loves Jim. I could see it in his eyes. And I can see that same look in Jim's. I know Jim will do his best to protect him and that he'll love him with everything he's got. I just wish it were me that Spock looked at like that. Like he used to."

"We don't belong to people forever," Alina whispered.

"Then what's the point?"

"Isn't it worth it?" Alina asked.

"Yeah," Uhura replied, looking up at the ceiling to stifle the tears forming in her eyes. "Yeah, it is."

"I'll make you some Orith," Alina said, patting Uhura's hand.

" _Nir t'rinu Orith'a zoor hireem a'tha'nimi_ ," Uhura replied with a faint smile. "I studied xenolinguistics," she said, noticing Alina's shocked expression.

"Oh, I knew I liked you," Alina said. Then, softer, "Listen, drink that, try to relax, and remember that there's always good news and bad news."

"What's the bad news?" Uhura asked.

"Nothing lasts forever."

"Don't I know it," Uhura replied bitterly. "What's the good news?"

"Nothing lasts forever," Alina said, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "I think you should hold onto your feelings for a little bit. Let yourself feel the hurt. Sometimes strong people like you tend to run from the pain because you think you should be immune to it or something. But that pain always catches up to you in the end and then it's ten times worse because it's been snowballing the entire time you were running. So let yourself feel it now and remember that it'll pass." Alina climbed up onto one of the top bunks and pulled the covers over herself.

"I'm gonna sleep for a bit," she said. "G'night. Or morning. Whatever the hell it is." Uhura made a quiet noise of acknowledgement, deep in thought about what Alina had said. Tears flooded her brown eyes again. This pain wasn't so easily escaped, but maybe Alina was right. Maybe it was time to feel it.

* * *

Trying his best to stifle his near-hyperventilation, Spock closed his eyes and forced his heart to slow and his breathing to calm as well. Once he was as calm as he was going to get and he was sure his captors were not near, he put all of his strength into wrenching his body quickly to his right, which was his less injured side. As he expected, the table rocked and tipped over with a loud crash, Spock swallowing down a scream of agony. True to his plan, though, he was now on his side and just close enough to reach the scalpel with his right hand. Once he had the blade grasped firmly in his hand, he managed to twist the blade upwards so that he could begin sawing at the leather straps holding his wrist in place. The task was excruciating and seemed to take eons, but after nearly five minutes, the strap finally gave and his right wrist was free. Exhaling a desperate sigh of relief, Spock cut his other three bonds and slowly stood up.

His joints ached terribly from being unable to move for so long, and the deep infection racking his system sapped what little energy Spock had, but he knew he had to hide before his torturer returned. He looked around the room, but there were no places to reliably hide that wouldn't be searched once he was discovered to be missing. Spock glanced up the walls and saw a vent near the top. It was risky, but he knew he had to try to get inside the vent. With adrenaline temporarily numbing some of the pain, Spock stacked various crates and boxes around the room until he was able to climb them to enter the vent. His adrenaline was beginning to wear off, however, and the pain was setting back into his muscles. By the time he had reached the vent, he was nearly gasping for air and shaking from the exertion, but with one final strain, he was in the vent. He kicked the tower of boxes over in the hopes that his captors would think he had just been rifling through the boxes for supplies and pulled the grate of the vent back in place behind him.

He knew he had to get further into the vent system to prevent being seen by anyone smart enough to glance inside the air system, but his energy was plummeting and Spock felt wave upon wave of nausea crashing over him. Once he had managed to get far enough into the system to feel relatively safe, Spock collapsed flat against the cold metal, his entire body trembling and his shallow breath leaving a small patch of condensation on the bottom of the vent. Dehydration and hunger were beginning to take their toll, and Spock knew the only reason he was as strong as he was, was due to his Vulcan heritage allowing his body to require less water than that of a human.

Sleep from sheer exhaustion taking him, Spock's last thoughts before he drifted into a near-comatose, infection addled sleep was that he had to find a comms room to warn Jim that they were heading straight into a trap. He could not, he _would not,_ allow his friends to be killed for him.

 _Please, stay away, Jim, ashayam, t'hy'la,_ his subconscious whispered hopelessly. _Stay away from this place. There is only death here._


	14. Chapter 14

**Oh my, I actually managed to get a chapter out in a timely fashion! Can I keep it up for the next chapter? I honestly have no idea but I'll do my best! As always, please review. They really do make my day and inspire me to keep going.**

 **xx-  
Rabbit**

* * *

Spock awoke with a start to the sound of frantic yelling.

"You _lost_ him?" Seela screeched. There were sounds of various metal tables being overturned in her blind rage.

"He was perfectly secured," the doctor responded icily. "He is near death. The infection is deep in his bones by now. He won't last long, even if he is free from his restraints. If anything, he is hurrying towards his death."

"Oh, yes, yes, and now all is okay! You go tell Admiral that we lost prisoner! He will be kind to you about it, I am sure!"

"Oh, would you _please_ be quiet, Seela. Your voice is positively grating when you throw these fits of yours." A slap resounded through the room.

"Do not tell me to be quiet," Seela hissed. "You may be doctor, but I am warrior, and I am leader of this group. You are to be obeying me. Not other way round. Find your dying toy, doctor, or it will be your body on table next." A door slammed as Seela presumably stormed out. Spock breathed a shuddering sigh of relief that neither of his captors had thought to check the vent, and the mess that Seela had made would likely hide the overturned boxes from his climb.

"Quite the clever plaything," the doctor mumbled to himself as he too left the room. Spock began slowly crawling, agonizingly, through the vents. He knew he had to find a communications room if he wanted to stand any chance at all at saving his friends.

* * *

"How much longer?" Jim asked when he jolted awake from the fitful sleep he had fallen into in the captain's chair. He hissed a string of expletives under his breath when the crick in his neck made itself abundantly clear from his awkward sleeping position.

"Whew," Bones whistled. "Your kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"No, but if you don't shut up I'll plant one on you, you smug bastard," Jim replied with a glare.

"About two days, Sir," Sulu replied. "Although… asking me over and over won't make the ship go any faster, you know. This ship is rough. I'm terrified we're pushing it too much as is." Bones knelt down in front of Jim, concern evident on his worn features.

"You're acting off, Jim. What's going on? And don't lie to me," he commanded. Alina nodded in gentle threat from behind Bones. He knew lying was futile. Jim glanced at him for a moment before his shoulders fell.

"I keep having this nightmare. Same one every damn time I sleep. I keep hearing Spock's voice. He's telling me to stay away and that there's only death where we're going. It's really bothering me."

"You're just stressed. I'll give you something to make you sleep more deeply. That should fix the nightmares," Bones replied.

"No, I don't want them to stop. I feel like they're important somehow. Maybe I'm going crazy."

"That's sleep deprivation for you."

"I guess," Jim mumbled. "What do you think, Alina?" Alina stared blankly at the two men who now looked expectantly at her.

"I don't think anything is ever as simple as it seems," she replied cryptically, before turning and heading into the sleeping quarters. The quarters were empty, and Alina had a feeling Uhura was with Scotty off in the bowels of the ship.

"You seem a little high strung," came Bones's gruff voice from the door. Alina turned, carding her hands through her hair. She had heard his thoughts before he even arrived, of course, but she found herself startled nonetheless. She supposed her own thoughts were loud enough that her mind had ignored those of her now-lover.

"Picked up on that, did you?" she said with a soft smile, lacking in humor but genuine regardless. Bones shrugged before shuffling over to the wall and punching in commands. The door to the quarters closed and a slow, gentle song began to play.

"Oh, Leonard. You are so corny," Alina said. She couldn't help smile a bit wider at his antics.

"Be quiet and dance with me. Girls like dancing. But fair warning – I might break your toes," Bones replied, pulling Alina against him by the small of her back. She allowed him to take her right hand, her left finding its place on his shoulder. True to his word, Bones did indeed step on her toes a good few times, but if she felt it, she gave no indication.

"You're better at this than I thought you'd be," Alina whispered, her head now resting against his chest.

"You're exactly as good as I thought you'd be. That being very good," Bones replied.

"My people love dancing. So naturally I wanted to learn all the human dances too. I used to suck at this. Lucky for my dance partners I don't weigh much, so no toes were broken." They danced in comfortable quiet for another few moments before bones spoke up again.

"He loves him, doesn't he? Jim, I mean."

"Yes," Alina replied.

"Like, he really loves him? Not just some crush? He's my best friend, but I don't want him to hurt Spock like he hurt all the girls at the academy. I gotta admit – the damn hobgoblin's managed to get under my skin." Alina smiled.

"It's not a crush. Jim loves him with everything he's got."

"Wow," Bones said. "I guess I didn't realize Jim would feel that way about anyone for… well, ever."

"He feels much more deeply than you think. The two of you are pretty similar in that regard."

"Hey. I'm not near the player Jim is," Bones bristled, but there was no anger in his voice. Alina smiled and kissed him.

"That's definitely true. Now, let's get back to the player-who-isn't-a-player-anymore," Alina replied. She began to walk towards the door, but Bones pulled her gently back against him. Brown eyes searched the jade of Alina's, and he felt a contentment he hadn't felt in years.

"I have never in all my life been so glad to have met someone," he said. Alina smiled again, but it was that same smile tinged with sadness he had seen her give him in Jim's apartment. His conscious self could not place the sadness, but he felt his heart ache in response.

"Alina?" he asked.

"Don't worry," she replied, hearing the flurry of confused thoughts rushing though Bones's brain. "I'm so glad I met you too." Her response was enough to quiet the concussive thoughts quickly spiraling into self-deprecation that Bones was silently careening towards. With a kiss to close their conversation, Alina led Bones out of the sleeping quarters. He made his way to the replicator and dialed up food for Jim. The rest of the crew was well enough to take care of their own bodily needs, but Bones knew that Jim would rather starve than put any mental effort into anything apart from panicking about his first officer.

"Eat," Bones commanded, handing Jim a bowl of Thai curried chicken and rice.

"I'm not hungry," Jim said, looking up at bones from the captain's chair.

"Bullshit," Bones replied, leaning threateningly over Jim. "CMO orders override even the Captain's, Jim. You need to eat."

"We aren't on duty," Jim replied curtly.

"No, we aren't. But how the hell are you going to protect Spock and potentially fight for him if you don't have an ounce of energy from starving yourself?" Jim looked away, knowing his best friend was correct. With the attitude of a scolded child, Jim took the food and slowly began to eat it.

"Stop pouting," Alina said. "We're only forcing you to do this so you can have your strength back. I have a feeling we'll need it." Jim nodded, a surge of fear coursing though his veins.

* * *

"Thanks for keeping me company, lassy," Scotty told Uhura as he buzzed about the complex machinery of the ship.

"You're welcome. It helps me too. Keeps me from thinking about what's going on," Uhura replied.

"Why do ye think I'm an engineer? There's no way Ah could manage me'self unless I had all this to keep me occupied," Scotty replied, making Uhura smile despite herself. Her talk with Alina quickly sobered here.

"Scotty… I need to talk to you," she said quietly, a not-so-little part of her hoping he wouldn't hear her over the churning of metal and electronics.

"Aye, of course. About what?" Scotty replied, clearly nervous. Of course he heard her. _Ears of a rabbit, Scotty has_ , Uhura thoughts.

"I don't think you've been entirely honest with me about how you feel." Scotty blanched instantly, the pale white of his face quickly replaced by a deep flush.

"Ah… well… ye see, lassy, Ah just…" but Scotty silenced as Uhura shook her head.

"I think I feel the same. Maybe. But you have to understand that I do still love Spock. I know he and I won't get back together, and if I'm honest with myself, that's for the best. I just don't want to rush into anything when I'm still so… so… well, messed up. But if you're willing to give me time, I think maybe I'd be willing to give… us… a try." Uhura leaned back against the railing of the stairs they were near and waited. Scotty's face was the picture of innocent shock, and it was charming, Uhura had to admit.

"Right then. If time is what ye need, ye can have all the time in the world, lassy. But between you and me, I hope you don't need that much time!" Uhura couldn't help but giggle and she placed a tentative kiss on Scotty's cheek.

"No, I don't think I'll need quite that much time."

* * *

Spock had managed to crawl further though the ventilation system on the ship that he was now convinced was to be his tomb. His progress was painfully slow, both physically and metaphorically, but between his involuntary pauses of fading in and out of consciousness, he maintained the desperate strength of a dying man. The vents were alternating between bone-chilling cold and scalding heat, but he barely noticed with the fever rising higher and higher in his system. He reached a vent looking into a room with multiple computers. He guessed, with not a little hope, that he was looking into a communication room. Three crewmembers were sitting at the computers chatting and drinking from mugs of steaming dark liquid. Spock's parched throat ached just at the thought of having something to drink, but he forced himself to focus on what they were saying.

"Hurry and send it," one of them, a small female said.

"I just… it makes me nervous," a male responded.

"Yeah, but Seela makes me more nervous. Fuck it. If Starfleet comes for us, just say we were coerced or something. I'll send it if you won't," the third member replied.

"Fine, fine. Read it out to me and I'll send it. I can't read Nanta's handwriting for shit. You'd think Seela'd learn to write her own shit by now."

"Captain, I am in danger. I have been taken to a small bungalow on the planet Nirentir. Please come alone. Too many people will attract too much attention. I will send my coordinates. Commander Spock out."

"Right, it's sent. Think this captain will fall for it?" the second man asked.

"Probably. No reason he wouldn't that I can see," the female said with a shrug. Spock felt his heart drop. There was no way he could overtake all three of them. In his current state, he could probably barely take on one. But Jim was going to be heading straight into a trap. Spock was flooded with despair at the hopelessness of his situation. All he could do was wait for the crewmembers to leave. He gingerly rolled onto his less-injured side with a sharp inhale of pain to rest until the room was empty. His breath came out in shuddering gasps, and he began to think seriously about his death. He knew the chances that he would die in the ventilation system of a ship far, far away from his home, his only family, and his _t'hy'la_ were skyrocketing the longer he went without medical attention.

"Jim, please forgive me," he whispered. His bravery was beginning to fail, but he clung to whatever hope, however illogical, he could muster. Jim would do it for him. He'd be damned if he didn't return the favor.


End file.
